Seven Long Years
by ZevieObsessed2012
Summary: Stevie Baskara has stayed single for the last seven years (or eight? Who keeps track?). She's the only one out of all her friends not to be married now, and she only wants a child—not a husband. When she runs into the boy—man who broke her heart years ago at her best friend's wedding, will her plans take a major detour? Rated T! **Stevie's POV**
1. Chapter 1 - Seven Years

**A/N: Okay, so Something Dark is ending in a few chapters (like four or five), and I hate posting just one story because everyone has different interests! I like to make different stories at once so everyone has something! :) So, here's **_**ANOTHER**_** new story! Don't ask how it came to me. . . I have no idea. Anyway, my research paper is done and so MORE TIME TO UPDATE!**

**This isn't at all based on My Fake Fiancé, I haven't seen that movie in ages, so maybe something in this will end up being the same? But I don't actually remember the movie. . . so hopefully everything is mostly my idea xD**

**Gonna try to update some other stories tonight because I'm in a crazy good mood! :D**

**BEFORE I START THE CHAPTER [PLEASE READ]: **

**So, this story idea came to me via guest review. The prompt struck me and I fell in love with it all of a sudden! Here's why: I miss writing for Titanic, but I don't have many story ideas, and I really love How to Rock a lot. So… this reviewer basically said "Why not write both?" GREAT! :D **

**What works well is that Titanic II is setting sailing 2016, and I thought well that's perfect! I can set the story then, and have it play out from there. **

**Here's the description, and the story will be called "A Time and Place": **

_Stevie Baskara is the descendent of Rose Calvert (Dawson), and decides to take a trip with her family on the Titanic II. Story takes place in 2016. Zander Robbins is a musician and his band Gravity 4 are looking for a bassist—she's closer than he realizes. Gravity 4 decides to travel all around in search of the "perfect" bassist. He's the descendent of Titanic survivor Jack Dawson, believed to have sunk with the ship, but didn't. 104 years later, Jack's and Rose's spirits live on in their great grandchildren, and their story might just repeat. . . just without the sinking. . . hopefully._

**Whatcha think? :D Seriously, You Know Me (reviewer), thank you so much for this idea! I fell in love with it all of a sudden and can't wait to write it!**

**~Chapter 1~**

**~Seven Years~**

**STEVIE's POV**

Of all my friends, I'm still single. I choose to be single though, even though it can be lonely. . . especially on outings with my friends when they've got boyfriends following them around like puppies. But again, I choose to stay single. My last boyfriend was back in high school. . .

When I was sixteen. . .

I'm twenty-three now. . .

I'm not jealous of my friends having boyfriends. I don't want a guy in my life, not since my heartbreak—I know, I know. . . seven, eight years ago (who keeps count?) and I'm still hurt. Well. . . it's a long story.

The only thing I really want is a child. I care more for a child than I do for a husband, or a boyfriend. But I refuse to undergo artificial insemination—if I'm going to have a child, I want one the "old-fashioned" way.

The problem is, a lot of older guys are looking for a relationship. I'm not.

Just a child.

And you can't walk up to some random guy and ask for a child—well. . . you could, but there is so many things wrong with that.

The reason I'm bringing this all up is because I'm sitting by myself at the table. . . at my best friend's wedding. Kacey Simon is finally getting married. We were the last two of our group of friends to still not be married. . .

Now, it's just me.

Again, I don't really want a husband.

And don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for Kacey and her boyfriend Kevin Reed finally getting married, but that just means Kacey will have what I want. She'll have a family before me. I don't need a husband or a boyfriend to complete me though.

I just. . . you know what I want. I've said it enough.

The only thing that makes this wedding royally sucky—to me—is that the boy—_man_ who broke my heart seven or eight years ago. . . is the groom's best friend.

And he's here.

Two tables away.

Staring.

Help.

"Excuse me, Miss?" a voice says, making me look up.

It's one of the waiters. He's holding a tray with a single glass of. . . champagne? But there's a note attached to the glass. The waiter has sandy blond hair and slightly chubby cheeks—he doesn't look like he could a hurt fly, and if he did he'd probably crawl into a ball and feel bad for a week or two.

"Yes?" I ask, raising a confused eyebrow.

"A young man asked this be sent over to you," he responds. I can feel the blood rushing out of my cheeks then. . . I know who the note's from already. Gulp. He hands me the drink and the note and I wait until he walks away before setting the glass down.

I don't drink, so the gesture was appreciated, but pointless.

I contemplate opening the note or just tossing it onto the floor and kicking under a table. My curiosity's piqued though, and I fumble to open the thin paper.

_Hey, Steves_—

Jeez, I haven't heard that nickname in years! When my ex and I broke up, and I forbade everyone from saying it.

_It's been a while. . . meet me outside on the patio, we've got some catching up to do. _

—_Z_

_P.S. no need to bring your fists, love. _

Zander Robbins, a.k.a. my ex-boyfriend.

He broke my heart and sometimes the pain still gets to me. I stand up from my seat at the table though, prepared to see him after seven, eight years—let's say seven—years of ignored phone calls and text messages, and even outings when we knew the other would be going.

Here goes. . . everything?

I walk out of the bistro onto the patio. Because Kacey and Kevin rented the place for the night, the only people here are guests to the wedding, and none of them are out on the patio at the moment. Just Zander, and he has his back turned to me.

I feel my throat close up. I think about turning back, but I'd probably come back out. I should've brought the champagne glass though. . . after all, he did buy it for me. Even though he knows I don't drink.

I turn around to go back and grab it, hoping he didn't hear me come out, but the sound of his laugh says he sees me. "Oh, Steves—" _ow. . ._ so some feeling are back. . . hard, "You never were fond of drinking. I just needed the waiter to bring the note over and he wouldn't without something on the menu being sent over too," he explains.

I don't say anything for minute.

"Why champagne?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. My voice is a bit shaky, but thankfully Zander doesn't say anything about it. "Isn't that one of the most expensive drinks on the menu?"

"Well, yes, but it's a wedding, so everything's paid for," he answers.

"Oh," I mumble.

"I still paid for it," he says with a small smile.

"Even though you knew I'm not going to drink it?"

"Pretty much," he replies, shrugging and placing his empty glass down on one of the tables. "And anyway, what, I can't be nice?"

Anger filled me suddenly, and it came out quickly, "_No actually!_ You _can't_!" I spit, huffing angrily. "If I remember correctly, you broke my heart! You. . . you don't have the right to be nice to me anymore, or even ask to talk to me, or anything!"

He purses his lips and says after a second, "You're out here anyway. I knew you'd be curious." He frowns and shoves his hands into the pockets of his trousers, ashamed. "I've been beating myself up for years, Steves. For what I did to you. I tried to call and text you and anything I could to talk to you, but you never wanted to talk."

"I don't want an apology from you. You had your chance years ago, Zander," I say quietly.

He clenches his jaw, "Didn't you just hear me!? I _tried to apologize_. It was you who never wanted to listen!"

I scoff and with a roll of my eyes, I turn to go back into the bistro, but Zander stops me.

"You're not really angry with me, are you?" he smirks. His anger's dissipated, and now he's. . . enjoying this? What?

I scoff again, "Oh, no, I'm furious with you."

"No, you aren't."

"What makes you say that?"

"You've always loved to call me 'Robbins' when you're angry with me. You called me Zander, therefore you're not really angry with me." He's smiling a little, and now I understand where I screwed up.

Mentally giving myself a face-palm, I reply bitterly, "Whoops. Slipped out, don't expect it to happen again, _Robbins_."

"You're just embarrassed because you know I'm right. I was the one trying to apologize, it was you that wasn't listening. If anyone should be apologizing right now, it's you."

"Me!?" I explode, turning around sharply. "I'm sorry, _me!?_ Oh, that's rich! I didn't break your heart, you broke mine. I didn't have to listen to your pathetic apology! I didn't want to because you hurt me!"

He frowns, remembering exactly how stubborn I am, and have always been. He walks by me and stops at the door, "If you change your mind and would like an apology—"

"—I won't change my mind. I didn't want one seven years ago and I don't want one today," I reply, crossing my arms. He gives a small, single nod and then goes back into the bistro. I feel like screaming and crying—of course I want an apology! But I don't want him to think I forgive him, because I never will.

Ever.

I feel bad. . . but I've felt worse. It's Kacey and Kevin's big day though, so I force a smile onto my lips, straighten my posture and go back inside like nothing had even happened.

**A/N: And there you have it :) let me know what you thought? Thanks, loves!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Second Meeting

**A/N: Alright! I practically killed myself writing this (final exams are coming up and I am being sooo lazy! Agh!) Anyway, going to do some short replies and get on with the chapter!**

_**DreamOutLoud13: **_**Thanks, darling! :D Glad you like it a lot already!**

_**LunarEclipse22428**_**: Breathtaking? D: Gosh, that means a lot to me! Thanks so much! :D**

_**You Know Me**_**: I know who you are now! And don't ever worry about sending me "too many" prompts. Seriously, the more the better! The tiniest things spark my best inspiration :) **

_**Jellybean96**_**: I will get there…. In time ;D haha. As for now, no one shall know what Zander did to Stevie. NO ONE! xD**

**~Chapter 2~**

**~Second Meeting~**

**STEVIE's POV**

"Stevie, please!" Kacey cries, tugging on the sleeve of my sweater.

It's been a little over two weeks since the wedding—Kacey and Kevin had a lovely honeymoon, I keep hearing; but I'm a little angry at her and Kevin. They knew all along that Zander was going to be there and didn't say anything to me.

Like I said before, I always stay home when we have group dinners or outings and know Zander will be going too. I should've suspected that Kacey was lying about Zander not being at the wedding when I had asked her.

"Kacey, I'm not going out to get coffee with you and Kevin. . . I'm still mad at you!" I say, folding a pair of jeans and laying them on the table.

My apartment's small and messy, and I decided yesterday it's about time to tidy up. Kacey takes the basket of clothes away and places it on the floor.

"Hey!" I cry, gesturing to the floor, "Kinda busy!"

"I don't care! Will you _pleeeaaaaase_ go out to get coffee with Kevin and me? I know you want to more than you want to do chores, and it'll be fun!"

"No!" I whine, "I'm still mad at you for not telling me Z—_you-know-who_ was going to show up at your wedding!"

"I didn't know!" Kacey cries, flailing her arms—her voice is high-pitched so I know she's lying. She so knew he would be there. I give her my best unbelieving look—it's more like a scowl.

". . .okay, fine, I did know, but I really wanted you to be there!"

I sigh, defeated, and say, "I know that. . . but you know what he did to me. You know I'm still upset with him!" I shake my head and walk around Kacey to grab the discarded laundry basket. Pulling several articles of clothing out, I fold them quickly and put them into their appropriate piles.

"I know what he did, and I know he was really wrong to do it, but you know he's really sorry. . ." Kacey says quietly, pulling a shirt from the basket and putting it onto a hanger for me.

"Thanks," I mumble, knowing she's right. I know Zander's sorry, but I don't want to hear an apology.

"Why won't you just talk to him?"

"Because, if I listen to his apology, he'll think I forgive him or something. I can't forgive him," I say miserably. I finish folding the laundry and toss the basket aside—I'll move it later.

"Yay! You're done with chores! Now get dressed, fix your hair, and anything else to get ready because you _are_ going out to have coffee with Kevin and me and you are going to have fun!" Kacey demands, pushing me towards my bedroom.

I've lost all fight, and so I comply with my best friend's demands, but before I go to get dressed, I ask, "Is Zander going?" I know I shouldn't trust her after the whole wedding thing, but I really need to know.

"I didn't invite him, so probably not," she shrugs.

**|/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|**

"I cannot believe you dragged me into this," I say, resting my face in my hands as Kacey drags me into the café. Of course, she lied about Zander _not_ being there; he's sitting with Kevin at our table. "I swear, the two of you are trying to give me a migraine."

"Are not! I didn't know Kevin was bringing him!" she cries.

"Well maybe you should talk to him more! He knows what Zander did to me! You know! This is why I always say no to going on outings when I know Zander's coming, and clearly you guys are using the lying card."

"There aren't any cards, Stevie," Kacey snaps, annoyed. "Kevin just wants to hang out with his best friend and I want to hang out with mine. God, you act like two, three hours in the same room as Zander might kill you."

"Because it actually might," I smirk, followed by an eye roll.

For about an hour, I desperately try not to make eye contact with Zander, but I keep doing it! I think it's because I think he's always staring at me, and he thinks I'm staring at him, and the urge we're both trying to fight—to look at the other—is overpowering.

Eventually I'll learn to stop being so paranoid.

"I have to go use the bathroom," I lie, standing up and pushing the cup of my coffee to the center of the table slightly, signaling I'm done—I'm actually not, but I'm not actually in the mood for coffee either.

I try to keep my walk confident; I know he's watching.

As I go to shut the one-person bathroom door, that damn familiar arm stops it. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snap, trying to shut the door.

"Trying to talk to you. I've been waiting to get you alone for most of this evening," he answers, shrugging slightly.

"I told you weeks ago I don't want an apology. I still don't, so if you excuse me—" again I try to shut the door, but once again, Zander doesn't let me.

I sigh impatiently, rolling my eyes.

"Look, just hear me—" that's it. I've had enough of him trying to get a word in. I place my hand on my hip and pull him into the bathroom.

"Do you know why I'm still angry at you? Why I'm still hurt?" I whisper furiously, looking around to make sure we're completely alone, before shutting the bathroom door and locking it. The up-side to one-person bathrooms.

"I know why you were hurt and angry. Why you still are both those things, I don't know," he answers just as quietly. I'm feeling a little claustrophobic being in such a small bathroom with him, and the smell of his cologne brings back a lot of good—_no! You're still mad at him!_ I remind myself.

"I'm still both of those things because you are the _last person_ I had ever expected to hit me. I had to cover that bruise on my cheek for a good week and a half—do you have any idea how hard that was? I cried for weeks after I left you. Because the shock of what you'd done still hadn't worn off—in fact it _still_ hasn't."

"I never met to hit you, Stevie. I was so angry and confused and honestly? You weren't helping the situation at the time. You were just making it worse, and I tried to apologize. I'm still trying to! I have beaten myself up every day since that night."

I scoff, "I don't want an apology from you because I will never forgive you. I don't care that you're sorry, honestly. I don't care that you were angry and frustrated that night you hit me. All I care about is that I left you and I'm not coming back to you."

He shakes his head and says, "Forget it. You are absolutely impossible to talk to. You're stubborn as hell and guess what? I don't miss that, not one bit."

"Nobody asked you to miss me," I say annoyed, crossing my arms. "You can leave and not miss me because guess what, Zander? Guess what?"

"What, Stevie? What?" he snaps.

"I won't miss you," I reply, laughing bitterly. I unlock the door and go back to Kacey and Kevin who are sitting at the table, not really paying attention—good, Zander and I had been in that bathroom for a while.

"I've got to go. Uh. . . family emergency, thing. . ." I mumble, grabbing my coat and running out of the café. I don't bother looking back, because I know they're watching me through the window, and Zander's already walking back to the table, probably pretending nothing happened.

I've already forgotten about it.

**A/N: Hey guys! So that's that. I'm sorry my updates are short and slow. I have exams coming up (like I've mentioned before) and I am SO SICK RIGHT NOW! UGH! So, if I made any errors, blame it on my fuzzy brain. **


	3. Chapter 3 - Remember When

**A/N: Wow, that last chapter shocked all of you! xD I see why though. Zander's like the biggest sweetheart in the world (but a player), so why would he hit a girl, right? Anyway, I won't get into replies because I'm feeling really lazy tonight xP**

**Sorry this update is so late btw. I must've really been sick because for a whole week I thought I had posted this chapter, and then I went to upload chapter 4, and it I was like... there's only 2 chapters so far-OH! (Duh, ZO). **

**~Chapter 3~**

**~Remember When~**

**NO ONE's POV**

"_I'm only trying to help you, you know. . ." Stevie said, wrapping her arms around Zander's neck and kissing his cheek. He was already out of school, so Stevie—who was still in school at the time—usually stayed the night at his apartment. _

_Her parents just always thought she was at Kacey's._

"_I know, but this isn't something that you can help me with, Steves," Zander replied, absently trying to get free of Stevie's arms. He was distracted by the papers in his hands. They weren't bills or anything that really involved money and/or money problems, but they were still frustrating. _

"_I wish I could. . ." she said, frowning as Zander got free. Things had felt a bit strained between the pair lately, and it began to worry the pair of them. They both loved each other a lot. _

"_I know, love," Zander said, noticing her slight disappointment. He pulled her into his chest and held her in his arms. Something about the scent of his cologne always calmed her down, but she could never figure out what it was. _

_She inhaled deeply and sighed softly as the scent made her feel content inside. After a few seconds, she pushed away from Zander and said quietly, "I don't understand why I can't help you, Zander. . . this is just a decision. You've always wanted this, and now that it's being offered to you, you can't decide!" _

_Zander sighed, frustrated. Stevie could feel an argument approaching. "Stevie, you can't help because it doesn't involve you—I mean, it does, but you can't help decide. You've never had to choose between the dream you've always wanted the love of your life." _

"_No, I haven't. . ." she replied, sighing. "But I'm telling you to take the opportunity while you have it! I want you to be happy." _

"_Stevie, just stop," Zander snapped, getting off the couch and placing the papers on the coffee table. "You can't help because you just. . . you don't understand how frustrating it is, alright?" _

"_Then just tell me what you really want!" Stevie said, growing upset. _

"_I don't know what I want! I mean, I want you, but if I take this opportunity, we'll never have time together, Stevie. We would always be trying to find time, and it wouldn't work!" _

"_Well if this involves me, why won't you just let me—"_

_She heard it before the felt it. Zander's voice cursed quietly, panicked. She felt her body start to shake, and wondered absently if it was noticeable. _

"_Damn it, Stevie. . . I—I didn't mean to—"_

"—_Stop," she said quietly, bringing her hand up to her stinging cheek. She tried to keep the tears welling in her eyes at bay, but they wouldn't. Zander had hit her for the first time ever—she never expected it to be Zander, the type of guy to hit a woman. Not ever. _

"_Stevie, please, I—" Zander tried helplessly to apologize. He didn't even realize what he was doing until his hand struck her cheek—when it was too late. He tried to pull her into a tight hug and apologize—not that it would make him or her feel better. _

"_Don't touch me," she spat, smacking at his arms. He dropped them to his side and watched her, trying to apologize again, but Stevie denied him. _

"_I'll make this whole thing easier, Zander," she said, tears spilling out of her eyes, not likely to stop anytime soon. "You don't have to choose between me and your dream. Follow your dream, because I'm out of here. . ." _

"_Stevie—"_

_Stevie had already dashed out of the living room, grabbed her coat from the chair in the kitchen and ran out to her car. Zander followed and stood in the doorway, desperately calling for her to come back, but she slammed the car door and drove off. _

_She couldn't go home; she went to the one place she could think of first. _

**STEVIE's POV**

And that's where I find myself right now. Arguing with Zander back in that bathroom brought back exactly how I felt the night Zander hit me. I'm sitting in my car in a small abandoned lot behind an old closed school.

My head is resting on the steering wheel and I'm crying as hard as I did that night. The only difference between now and then is that it's a little after noontime, and then it was past ten at night. I pulled myself together then and I can do it now.

Sitting up straight, I rub the tears off my cheeks and prevent any fresh ones from falling by wiping those away too. I inhale deeply and then sigh heavily.

I'll be okay.

I start the car up and drive to my apartment—and then I remember that my brother Ashton is staying with me for a couple nights. He's not the only one having trouble. . . he and his wife just divorced, so I took him into my home.

Family is family.

How I am going to get past with him bloodshot eyes and flushed skin, who knows?

When I pull into the parking lot, I check my reflection in the mirror quickly and hope that I can make it past my brother without him noticing. I get out of my car and walk up the stairs to my apartment and pull the key from the chain around my neck—I hate carrying a purse, so this is the next best option.

I unlock the door and look inside. My brother must be out or something, because usually he'll be in the living room watching TV. He isn't at the moment, so I slip into the apartment, locking the door after me and dash to my room.

I shut the door and change into my comfiest clothes. I just need time to relax, but as I find that I'm alone, the tears threaten to spill over again. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep, steady breath. _You will not cry Stevie Raina Baskara! _I scold myself.

I walk out to the living room and gasp, shocked to see my brother sitting on the couch. "You jerk! Why didn't you say you were home!?"

My brother gives me an odd look and says, "Chill. I just got in. I was out with my kids. . . they're mother had to work. . ." I know he's not taking the divorce too well, but he's devastated—not like his children.

"Oh. Did you have fun with them?" I ask, sitting next to him. I don't look at him, afraid he'll know I've been crying.

"Yeah, it was pretty fun. . ." he raises and eyebrow and pokes my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

**NO ONE's POV**

"_Are you okay, Stevie!?" Kacey cried, pulling Stevie into her arms and hugging her tightly. _

"_No," the crying girl sobbed, burying her face into her best friend's shoulder. She pulled her hand off of her cheek and showed Kacey the bruise that was already forming. "C-Can I please stay the night?" _

"_Oh my God, Stevie! Of course you can! What happened?" Kacey's voice began to sound panicky—and who could blame her? Her best friend was in tears and sporting a bruise. She brought her best friend up to her room and shut the door, locking it just in case._

"_Z-Zander. . ." Stevie's voice shook as she spoke. "We were arguing ag-gain and—like we always argue, and h-he got angry with me and he hit me and I didn't realize it at first!" Stevie sobbed, curling into a small ball on Kacey's bed._

"_Oh my gosh, Stevie! Are you going to tell your parents?" Kacey asked, sitting beside her best friend and rubbing her arm gently. _

"_No, I can't. . . I can't tell them. . ." _

"_Steves, your boyfriend hit you—"_

"—_Don't call me Steves. I hate that name now. And I just can't tell them, alright? And you won't either. We'll just pretend like nothing happened." _

"_How?" Kacey asked, confused. "You can't hide a shiner like that." _

"_You've got makeup, don't you?" _

"_W-Well, yeah, but Stevie—"_

"_Help me cover this bruise tomorrow before school, okay? I just want to forget this ever happened," Stevie sobbed, sniffling and sitting up. She couldn't forget though, and all night she cried. But Kacey was her best friend, and she helped her through the night. _

**STEVIE's POV**

"I-I'm fine. . ." I say, afraid that I'll start crying again. "I'm going to bed, alright?" I say to my brother. He lets me go with a nod of his head and "goodnight" in response. I nod back and go to my bedroom, shutting the door after me.

I just wish things had been different that night. Things wouldn't be so hard now. Not like they are now. I sigh as I collapse on my bed and snuggle under my covers, ready to sleep away everything I feel.

Sleep seems to be the cure for everything—well, almost everything.

**A/N: So, that's that! Let me know what you thought? :D**


	4. Chapter 4 - The Offer

**A/N: I figured two chapters in one night ain't bad (bad grammar, ZO). Anyway, if you haven't read chapter 3 (which I totally thought was uploaded a week ago, but I forgot to post it!) please go back and read it so that this chapter makes sense. Thanks, loves! I'll do replies next time! Enjoy your 3,000+ words (of 2 chapters lol). **

**~Chapter 4~**

**~The Offer~**

**STEVIE's POV**

I lie down in my bed and pull the covers over my tightly, even though the apartment is sweltering hot—Los Angeles summers. After a couple minutes, I push the blankets off my body and lay on my back. The ceiling becomes oddly interesting as I think about what happened seven years ago.

I don't know why it's caused me so much agony over dating again, it just has. If I can't trust the one person I loved most, who can I trust?

Why is it so hard to get back up?

I sigh quietly; this is all too much to be thinking about.

I close my eyes and toss and turn until finally my body succumbs to sleep—which doesn't happen very quickly, unfortunately. At least I don't have anywhere important to be tomorrow.

By about noontime the next day, I'm up. My tossing and turning had gone on long past two in the morning, but thankfully sleeping in kept me from feeling sluggish and exhausted. I lie in bed for what feels like hours though—really only half an hour.

I pull my phone out from beneath my pillow—yes, an odd place to keep it, but not at all a bad idea—and check for any new messages. I have three.

I usually only wake up to one or none so, curiously, I swipe the lock screen and wait for the messages to load. There's one from Kacey—a sale at one of my favorite stores apparently. It doesn't interest me like she probably thinks it does.

I think she just wants to go shopping.

The other is from Nelson asking if I can babysit his and Grace's daughter Charity—she's so cute. I respond to that one quickly, and hope he'll answer back soon. The third and final message is from—

My eyes reread the number and I groan. I remember this number well, unfortunately. You know when people hate each other and they say "Lose my number!"? Yeah, that didn't happen when this relationship ended.

I deleted his number from my contact list, but it's a phone number I'll always remember.

_We got off on the wrong foot the other day, I apologize, Steves. Can we meet up at that coffee shop again? You know, just the two of us? If you're coming, I'll be there a little after 1 this afternoon. If you don't show up, I'll understand why. –Z_

I bite my lower lip as I think about the invitation. I really don't want to see him again, but part of me is curious. He's so eager to meet up with me—a lot—lately, maybe he's really trying to redeem himself—

_No! _my mind screams. _You can't just give in, that's what he wants!_

I know that's what I really want, to see him again. But the logical, more protected part of me says it's a bad idea and I'll end up falling for him and getting hurt again.

My heart won this battle, however.

I get out of bed and walk out of the room down to the small bathroom across from me. Figuring my brother has already left for work, I don't bother to go check. I shut the bathroom door and turn on the water in the shower.

I turn it on hotter than I normally have it, but if I'm going to get through this day calmly, I'm going to need the hot water. I strip out of my pajamas and into the shower as moan quietly as the hot water hits my body.

I can feel myself relax and after a few minutes of just standing under the spray, I begin to wash my hair and, afterwards, my body.

When my shower is over, I wrap a towel tightly around my body and go to my room to get dressed, but I sit around for a couple minutes until I dry off completely—I hate trying to put on clothes when I'm wet.

I dress in a pair of capris that go just below my knees and a pair of white flats that I find to go very nicely with my yellow tank top. I know meeting up with Zander isn't anything to get over-the-top dressed up for, so I try to keep it casual, but light—it's very hot out.

I tie my hair back, not bother with the strands that come loose already, and when I feel I look decent enough to go and meet up with Zander, I grab my phone and keys and lock up the apartment. I go out to the lot where my car is and get in.

Without hesitation, I start the car and drive to the café.

When I arrive, I see Zander is already there; he's sitting at a table and has one coffee in his hand and another across from him. I smile slightly, grateful he was nice enough to order me one. Something tells me he knew I really couldn't refuse his invitation.

But let's get one thing clear: I do not nor will I ever forgive him.

I walk into the café and as the bell on the door jingles, I see Zander look up and spot me. I blush slightly as he watches me, but he gives me a small smile, and oddly I relax.

I walk over to the table and sit down across from him, secretly inhaling the smell of coffee around the shop deeply—admit it, you would do the same.

"I'm shocked," he teases, laughing quietly. "You actually came."

"Well, my curiosity got the better of me," I reply sheepishly. I pick up my coffee and take a huge gulp that way Zander will speak so I don't have to. He clears his throat and pushes his coffee to the side a bit.

"I knew it would," he laughs. "It's a good thing I still remember how you like your coffee," he comments lightly, nodding towards the drink I'm still sipping from. "Steves, you can relax, you know."

I can feel my cheeks heat up slightly, but I clear my throat and put my coffee down on the table, "Right, sorry. . ."

"You don't have to be afraid of me," he says, trying not to look hurt. Thankfully my shower put me in a good mood; part of me feels I would've snapped at him right then, but I don't feel angry towards him right now, just nervous.

"I. . . I know," I mumble, making eye contact with him. I clear my throat awkwardly and say. "Why did you ask me to meet you here anyway?"

He shrugs, not having a good reason to give me. "I wanted to see you. I wanted to apologize for what happened last time we met up."

"You mean yesterday?" I ask, laughing quietly.

He cracks a smile and says, "Yes, yesterday. I felt bad leaving things the way we did. I wanted to make up for it."

"Well, that's very kind of you. I guess," I begin softly, "My anger towards you has been shadowing all the good memories of you for a while now."

"I can understand why," Zander replies, shifting somewhat uncomfortably in his seat. "Look, Stevie. . . I will never forgive myself for what I did to you, you have to know that. I never meant to—" his voice gets quiet "—to hit you. I was frustrated and I just. . . I didn't know what to do and it sort of just happened. I knew what I was doing when I hit you, and I know that doesn't excuse me, but I just want you to know that I will never forgive myself and I know you won't forgive me either. . . but can we please. . . start again?"

I sit quietly for a minute, slightly shocked by his apology. I still can't forgive him, but my mind wonders and so I speak aloud, "Start again? How do you mean?"

"I'm not asking you to fall in love with me again, but I would like to have you in my life, Stevie. And," he pauses, not sure how to say what he's thinking.

"And. . .?" I prompt him.

"I know you want a child, Stevie, more than anything. I've always wanted one, too, and I think. . . if we both keep an open mind about what I'm offering, it can benefit us both. We won't have to fall in love, or get married. Just have a child."

I'm really shocked now. He's asking for some sort of. . . friends-with-benefits deal. Sure, I've always wanted a child—I do want one, but I just don't think I can take his offer.

"It's a convincing idea, Zander, but I don't think I can do it. It's never easy being friends with someone you once loved—sex would only complicate things," I say quietly, now pushing my coffee aside.

"I'm not asking you to say yes or no right away," he replies. "Just think about it. We both want something very much—we can both give each other what the other really wants."

"But that's just it," I sigh, looking around to make sure no one is listening. "How do either of us know that our feelings won't come back? Really, your offer is wonderful, but I can't bring myself into that situation. Even if we fell in love again, there would be tension between the pair of us."

"Stevie, please. . . just think about it. We can even give it one shot and if you don't like it, we'll call it quits," he says, almost pleading. I hesitate for a moment, but finally agree.

"Alright. . . we'll give it a shot," I say quietly, not sur regret agreeing. "When will we start?"

"Whenever you're free and ready," Zander says leaning back in his booth seat comfortably and taking a sip from his coffee.

"I want one thing clear," I state lowering my voice after a moment of though.

"Shoot," Zander says, calmly waiting for my condition.

"Well, two things actually. No kissing, and don't make it. . . enjoyable," I say quietly.

He bursts out laughing and so I glare at him, embarrassed by my own words—but really! He doesn't have to laugh!

"That's a very odd request," he says, calming himself.

"I'm serious," I hiss, "This is strictly. . . _business_."

"You make it sound so dirty," Zander chuckles, pretending to be distracted by some sugar on the table—a waiter must've missed some when they cleaned it.

"Well, it's just that I don't want to enjoy it. I want to have a child and that's it. No love, or love-making, or kissing or anything. Once it's over, I'll go home. I won't do cuddling or basking in the afterglow."

"'Basking in the afterglow,'" Zander chuckles, clearly enjoying this too much. I swing my leg under the table and connect with his shin. He flinches and groans while I smile, satisfied.

Zander finally decides to be serious and thinks for a moment. "How about we let things be. No conditions. It won't kill you to enjoy yourself, you know."

"My conditions are nonnegotiable!" I spit through clenched teeth. He really knows how to get under my skin.

"Well, too bad. Sex is sex, Steves," he says calmly.

"Then I don't want any part in this," I hiss. I stand up from my seat and slide out of the booth and begin walking away from the table. I hear Zander slap down some money for the drinks on the table and then he follows me out to the parking lot.

"Stevie," he calls once we're alone outside.

"What?" I snap, pulling the door of my car open and getting into the driver's seat. I scream as I notice Zander's already in the passenger's seat. "How did you—"

"Unlocked," he responds, pointing at the lock on the door. I sigh, puzzled as I realize I must've left it unlocked the whole time I was in the café. "Stevie, please. I know how much you want a child—I want one too! I saw how you reacted when I brought this whole thing up. You were interested. We won't have to get married, or even live together—not unless you think that's best. Please just accept what I'm offering—you know nobody else will just walk up to you with an offer. I'll agree to your conditions if it makes you happy. We both know you won't undergo artificial insemination."

I feel a headache coming on as his points become more and more accurate.

"But we'll have to get along and work something out. When the child's old enough, he or she will know its parents aren't like others. We won't be living together, or even in love. We'll probably argue. . . but just think: I have what you want, and you can give us what we both want."

My jaw slackens a bit, surprised. "You've really thought this through," I say quietly, staring at the steering wheel. He nods his head and waits for my answer.

I sigh and make eye contact with him. "Fine. I accept your offer, and my only condition will be no kissing on the lips. Deal?"

"Deal," Zander nods with a small smile.

I really hope that I don't regret this.


	5. Chapter 5 - A Date with the Devil

**PLEASE READ: **

**A/N: Hey, guys. Just want to know if you all read chapter 3, because no one said anything the reviews about that chapter. So, I just wanted to let you all know I posted 3 and 4 together because I didn't realize until I was going to post chapter 4 that I totally forgot to post 3! Oops!**

**~Chapter 5~**

**~A Date with the Devil~**

**STEVIE's POV**

It wasn't incredibly fast, our first time. Especially since I'd never done anything like this before, Zander knew that—and clearly he had some experience. He was slow and gently with me, and although I tried desperately not to make a sound or even enjoy it, several moans or whimpers escaped my lips.

I wanted more of this new experience, and that's enough to freak me out—I'm not falling for him, am I? Of course not! Seven years of digging myself out of love for good will not go to waste.

I still haven't left his apartment—I can't bring myself to move just yet. I keep my eyes fixed anywhere but at Zander who's getting out of the bed to go to the bathroom. I hold the blanket close and tight around my body and sit up; thinking that now would probably be an ideal time to grab my things and leave.

My clothes are all over the place, and I groan mentally. I'm going to have to go on some sort of manhunt just to get dressed.

I feel a small urge bubbling up inside of me—a small urge to laugh at the situation I find myself in at the moment. I swore for seven long years that after I left Zander I wanted nothing to do with him and look at me now. Here I am. . . in his bedroom. . . in his bed. . .

He comes back wearing a new pair of boxers and leans in the doorway, amused—he's laughing. I hold the blanket a little closer, suddenly feeling very self-conscious—_is he laughing at me? _I wonder biting my lower lip.

"What?" I ask, clearly embarrassed by his sudden outburst.

"Either you're waiting for more, or you're too afraid to get dressed. Not that I mind either," he teases, "I thought you'd be up and looking for you clothes already. You were fighting the pleasure—didn't we discuss this already? Just let it be," he chuckles.

"I'm not getting dressed while you're still here," I mumble, blushing.

He laughs again and comes to sit down beside me, "Love, I've seen you—and you've seen me—on a pretty personal level. I think we're past feeling awkward about dressing in front of the other. Do I need to remind you of what just happened?"

He winks at me, and that only encourages my blush. I know he can see the heat rising to my cheeks and mentally I scold myself for being so easily teased.

"I think that you've always had a great body, Steves," he comments lightly seeing that my discomfort isn't at all cured. I hesitate, not fully believing him and say nothing. His fingers gently stroke my waist and I find my body reacting exactly how I _don't _want it to. "I'm not going to laugh at you, you know. If you don't change soon, I might not let you leave yet," he teases.

"We're not lovers, Zander," I say quickly, nervously. I'm just trying to remind him that this meant nothing to me—I can't fall in love with him again. This is strictly to conceive a child—something we've both always wanted.

"We were once," he counters, still stroking my waist with his calloused fingers—I assume he still loves music. Yes, they feel good on my skin, but I can't fall for it.

"But now we aren't," I cry desperately trying to fight every urge running through my thoughts. "This. . . this sex between us, Zander. . . that's just it! It's just—just sex! No feelings, no love, nothing like that!" I nudge his hand away from my waist and mentally curse myself for denying me that pleasure.

"I know," he replies, quietly, almost like he's sad. "I've really missed you a lot though, Steves, and that last. . . half hour or so, it reminds me of how much I miss you."

"No, no!" I cry, "See? This? This is exactly what I said would happen if we—" I stop suddenly, and hesitate. This hysterical part of me is desperately trying not to feel again, because what Zander did left a huge emotional scar, but the more kind and caring part of me is begging with this side to give him a chance. "I. . ." I sigh, defeated, "I missed you too, Zander. . ."

I begin to drown out the hysterical side of me that's screaming and cursing and ready to breakdown in tears. Zander isn't destroying the emotional walls I built; I'm destroying my own emotional walls, and somehow I've lost control.

I can't rebuild them; I've already lost myself to my feelings. They're coming back, I know they are and all I can think about is how wrong this can all turn out. But that second side of me is thinking maybe something good will happen this time.

And I honestly feel that I will prove that side wrong. I'm not sure, I think I want this to go wrong; that way I can rebuild my walls as easy as I'd torn them down. Nothing is going the way I planned it too anymore and that scares me.

"I don't. . . suppose that I _have_ to leave yet," I blurt, chewing on my lower lip and slowly making eye contact with Zander beside me. He was watching as I mentally fought with myself, and something about him looks. . . but determined to do what, I'm not sure.

"No one said I want you to," he responds, flashing that crooked grin that I fell in love with seven years ago. "The more we do his, the greater our chances of a child are."

I nod my head, and with a small smile, Zander tugs the blanket off of my body and we continue where we had left of not long ago.

**|\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/|**

A couple hours later, I find myself out shopping with Kacey—she practically dragged me here. I know some time I'll have to tell her about Zander's and my deal, but maybe I can just lie to her. Say I met someone who was willing to help, and he would like to stay secret.

But then I worry if maybe Zander will tell Kevin about our deal—they've been best friends since high school, and what if he tells Nelson too?

"You're really quiet today, and you look kind of warm," Kacey comments while looking through one of the clothing racks outside the changing stall. I'm sitting on one of the benches outside her stall, not really doing anything except staring around the store.

I'm just thinking.

"Oh. . . I'm fine," I respond. I feel happy but angry at myself too for giving into my urges. This war between the two sides of my mind is going to be the death of me. "I was just thinking about something from earlier. . ." I reply nonchalantly.

"Oooh," Kacey teases, "Like what?"

I can't come up with a lie soon enough. Kacey looks back at me and sees my worry and then says, "What, you can't tell me? Come on! I want to know! You can't just drop a bomb like that, especially on someone like me!"

I laugh and reply, "I didn't drop any bomb; you're just too nosy for your own good, Kace."

She pouts at me and then goes into the changing stall with a handful of new shirts—why do girls shop like that? "Can you pleeeeaaaaase tell me?" she whines. I watch as shirts and miniskirts fly all over the changing stall.

"I just. . . er. . . found someone who's willing to help me have a child," I say quietly, hoping no one else over heard me.

Kacey gasps and then squeals, "Oooh! Tell me who!"

"Can't; I think he wants to keep his identity a secret," I respond and try not to laugh as Kacey whines—you really can't give her an inch and expect her to take it. She needs a couple miles to satisfy her nosiness, but it's a good thing that I love her.

"Were you with him earlier? Is that why you look all hot and bothered?" she comments, laughing. She comes out of the stall and models for me a loose-green sequined top and a pair of black skinny jeans—definitely her style.

"Nice," I comment, nodding my head—in truth, I don't care what she wears, I just want to go get something to eat and then go home. I hate shopping with a passion.

"Back to your good news, are you pregnant?" Kacey asks.

"Kacey, I was only with him a few hours ago. . . I met him way earlier today, how am I supposed to know?" I ask, trying to play this off coolly. Truthfully, I'm very excited myself to see if I am or not. If I am, I can call and end to the deal with Zander and maybe rebuild my walls before they breakdown any further.

"So you have to wait a few days?" Kacey asks, obviously bored now. I think she was expecting a big _Guess what! I'm pregnant at this very moment!_ sort of thing. Oops, pregnancy doesn't work like that.

"I don't have to wait a whole week. Conception is quick you know, it just is hard to detect at first," I reply, shrugging.

"Most people don't know until they're about three months," Kacey whines.

"Yeah, well this isn't high school, Kace. I planned for this to happen, which means when I feel ready to know, I will know."

"Fine," she whines, going back into the changing stall. My stomach rumbles and I groan as I begin to think we have a few more hours before Kacey's ready to stop shopping and go eat.

The whole time, all I can think about is having a baby. I really, really, really want to know if I can put an end to this deal already. I can't fall in love with Zander.

Not again I can't.

**A/N: Alright, so that's chapter 5! Don't forget, if you haven't read chapter 3 yet, go do it! It's just a couple of flashbacks, but they make sense with the story, so please go check it out and let me know what you think in a lovely review? :) Thanks! **


	6. Chapter 6 - Big News

**A/N: I'm trying to update SD but I'm a bit stuck now that it's coming to an end very soon! I always get stuck at the end because I don't want it to be predictable. I like to shock you guys! Haha**

**And today is my dad's birthday (a day before Max's!) so went out to dinner, so I'm sorry this is late. I've had exams all week too and I have one more tomorrow—then I'm done! :D **

**So… summer = more updates!**

**Anyway, onto the replies: **

_**DreamStar77**_**: YES! Haha, that was partly my inspiration for finishing the last chapter. I've had it on repeat for the last couple of days xD I cannot stop listening to it! **

_**LunarEclipse22428**_**: I love that you sent me like four reviews, each like 400 words or more! Haha I definitely had fun reading your reviews, and yeah, I got a lot of inspiration for this story from Max's videos and whatnot. And if Stevie did break the deal with Zander (let's say she did get pregnant) he would still help take care of the baby, and even her. If you haven't noticed, he's really trying to redeem himself. So, he would still stick around! :)**

**~Chapter 6~**

**~Big News~**

**STEVIE's POV**

"I can't do this at my place. . ." I say quietly, watching the man before. "My brother has his kids over and it would just not be the best idea." I hate explaining this to Zander, but I can't go to Kacey—that would be even weird I think. At least Zander knows my situation—hell, he's part of it!

He opens the door a little wider to let me through. I step into his apartment and notice he's not alone. Kevin's on the couch, phone in hand (maybe he's texting Kacey).

He looks up at me and gawks, "Stevie? What are you doing here?"

I look behind me and shoot daggers with my eyes at Zander who looks quite embarrassed himself. "Er, Kev?" he speaks up, scratching the back of his head. "Do you mind. . . going? Stevie and I need to be alone right now."

Kevin tried not to smirk—I would've hit him—"What's going on?" he asks, giving Zander a knowing look. I scowl at him and roll my eyes before stalking off to the bathroom. I shut the door and lock it, and listen to Kevin and Zander argue.

"Nothing's going on, Kev! I've just been asking her to meet up with me, alright? I'm trying to make up for what happened seven years ago. I don't want her to hate me anymore."

Kevin sighs, defeated and then leaves—reluctantly.

I stare at the blue box in my bag.

Sighing softly, I open the package and read all the instructions, but before I start, Zander's knock on the door startles me. "Steves?" he tries to move the door handle, but being locked, it doesn't turn. "Steves?"

"What?" I call back, staring at the test in my hand.

"Are you alright?" he asks. Maybe he doesn't get why I'm here.

"Yeah, I'm fine. . . I just can't test this at my apartment. Not with my brother and his kids there. The last thing I need is everyone finding out yet."

"Kacey was busy?" he asks through the door.

"No. . . I just don't want her to get all excited. I might not even be pregnant," I call back. I get the test ready and then make Zander walk away from the door. I don't want him listening in, it's bad enough that I'm even here.

When the test completes, I wait a couple minutes before checking. Zander's back at the door, asking if it's done yet. I lie and say no and wait for him to walk away. I want to be pregnant. . . so badly. I'm honestly grateful that Zander even offered to help me.

I know I've been so angry at him lately, and hurt, but I've put that aside at the moment.

I sigh and stand up from the floor. I walk over to the test and close my eyes. _Please be positive. . . please be positive. . ._I think for several moments. I pick up the test and then hold it up close enough to read it. I open my eyes slowly, and my stomach drops.

_Negative_, it reads.

I drop the test into the trash, grab my bag, and unlock the bathroom door—and much to my surprise, Zander's standing there. I scream, startled and then sigh angrily. "Don't do that to me!" I yell, punching his arm. He makes a pained face and grabs his arm.

"I'm sorry! You were in there a while, I wanted to make sure you were okay!" he replies, rubbing the spot where I punched him.

I shake my head and sigh. I walk past Zander, hoisting my bag a little higher up my shoulder. "The test was negative," I say quietly, frowning. Zander doesn't make any expression, or even an attempt to say something. I shrug and walk to the door.

"Steves, wait—" he says. I turn to face him. "Don't let it get you down. We can try again. Whenever you're ready."

"Well, I won't be ready today. . ." I answer quietly. I turn back to the door, but a thought crosses my mind. "Did Kevin mention anything about a dinner tonight?"

Zander shakes his head and shrugs, "What about it?"

I hesitate, but then say, "Please come. . .?"

He looks shocked by my invitation—and I know why—but I don't change my answer. I do want him to come tonight. I know that Grace and Nelson will be there, and Kevin and Kacey. . . I don't want to be the only single one there, and maybe Zander won't be so bad.

"Uh, yeah. . . sure, I'll come. Where is it?" he asks. I give him the name of the restaurant and what time everyone's going. He gives me a small smile, and I smile back—I guess I can't help it. I walk out of the apartment and out to my car.

I decide to go see Grace and Nelson, since it's been a while. I know I'll see them later, but I think it's been a while since I've seen Charity. I pull up to the little house and park in the driveway—Nelson will move the car into the driveway for me anyway if I parked on the street.

I get out of the car and walk up to the front door, but before I can even knock, the door flies open and Charity's hugging my legs. "Oh!—Hey, kiddo," I laugh, hugging her back. She smiles and then runs back into the house.

"Mommy! Daddy! Stevie's here!" she screams excitedly. I laugh and watch as Grace walks into the living room with Nelson not far behind.

"Stevie! Hi!" Grace cries, throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me. I hug back and greet her and then pull away and greet Nelson.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, sticking his hands into his pocket after he pulls away from my hug. He has a big, goofy grin on his face like he always did back in high school—thankfully his and Kevin's Furious Pigeons addiction wore off by senior year.

"I was just around and felt like visiting," I reply shrugging my shoulders.

"You seem. . . down," Grace says, cocking her head to the side slightly. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, no, everything's fine," I say, forcing a decent smile. I shake my head, dismissing their concerns and take a seat in the armchair. "I haven't seen you guys since the wedding though, how are things?"

"Well," Grace smiles, looking over at Nelson who looks back. He takes her hand and sits her down on the couch. "We're having another baby!" Grace says, smiling like it's Christmas.

My stomach drops, yet again, and I start to feel sick. I mean, I'm so glad for them. . . but I wish that was me announcing that I was having a baby. . . "That's great. . ." I mumble, forcing a smile. I don't know how to feel, really.

"We were going to wait to announce it at dinner tonight, so would you mind. . .?" Nelson prompts, gently squeezing his wife's hand.

I shake my head, "No worries. I won't say anything." Great, I'll have to listen to this at dinner tonight? Internally, I sigh and force myself to enjoy the rest of the afternoon until I have to go home and get ready for the dinner tonight.

**A/N: So, that's that :) let me know what you thought? Thanks, loves! :D**


	7. Chapter 7 - Dinner and Company

**Few Announcements; PLEASE READ! :)**

**A/N: Hey all! I've got a forum posted (for HTR) so please go check it out if you're interested (it's a contest)! **

**I'm going to post the links in my bio for the outfits used in this chapter (for the dinner). So, go ahead and check them out! Onto replies!**

_**LunarEclipse22428**_**: Don't be sorry :) haha. I love your reviews! :D I'm glad you found the chapter "phenomenal" you have no idea how please I get to hear comments like that! **

_**Jellybean96**_**: No comment… except TROLLING IS ZO! xD**

_**Zevie-bade-spoby80726**_**: I love the evolving of their relationship too. I don't like writing stories where "I hate you—no wait, I think I love you" happens like right away, you know? It just seems so rushed and there's nothing in between!**

**~Chapter 7~**

**~Dinner and Company~**

**STEVIE's POV**

Dinner is already starting off rough.

I don't see Zander anywhere, but Kevin and Kacey and Grace and Nelson are already here. I approach the table and take a seat and notice there's only enough for everyone except Zander—no one knows I invited him.

"Uh. . ." I speak up and everyone looks at me. "W-We need an extra chair. . . I asked Zander to come," I say quietly, trying to ignore the shocked looks on everyone's faces.

"Since when are you and Zander buddies again?" Kacey asks, cocking her head to the side, raising a perfectly-plucked eyebrow. She watches as Kevin gets up and grabs a chair and pulls it up to the table.

"Thanks, Kev," I say, ignoring Kacey's question. He nods and then sits down beside the empty chair.

"Stevie, you can't ignore me!" Kacey says, trying to be angry but the look in her eyes says she's trying to figure out why I invited Zander. I don't know the exact reason I did it. Part of it was the dread of being surrounded by couples most of the night.

Any other reason, well I can't figure it out. I look around the table—the girls are all dressed in lovely, casual or semi-casual dresses—Kacey's wearing a casual, sleeveless light dress; it's white with a black skirt dotted in white. She can make anything look good (not that the dress is hideous, because it isn't). Grace is wearing a pink and white floral patterned dress that goes just slightly above her knees.

The guys look nice too, ties and vests or button-down shirts and nice pants. The restaurant is a mix of casual to semi-formal and the patio outside overlooks the sea. I feel the small urge to go outside and just spend the night there—why isn't Zander here?

I feel so out of place.

"Uh, Stevie?" Kacey asks, looking towards the door. "I see your date's arrived."

I look towards the door and then back at Kacey, "He isn't my date! I just asked him today if anyone had told him about the dinner and then asked that he come." Zander walks towards the table and smiles a bit as he notices the chair beside me is empty.

"Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late," he says as he sits beside me.

I can't help but look at what he's wearing; a crisp white shirt under a grey sweater. The sleeves are rolled up and he's wearing dark jeans too. I stop myself before I stare too long and then look at Kacey who's darting her eyes to the restrooms—she wants to chat in private.

I shoot back daggers, denying her. I don't want to talk about this.

She pouts, but discreetly I shake my head and order my meal—just now realizing the waitress is here. Zander orders after me and then the others.

We're probably the loudest table in the restaurant, but I find myself enjoying the time. I laugh a little and make a few jokes; we all have a few drinks, but then Grace taps her glass to get everyone's attention.

Everyone turns to her and Nelson and I can already feel my happiness draining. Nelson smiles at his wife and then back at his friends. I don't know why I do it, but I stand up and freeze as everyone looks at me.

"I. . ." I can't speak, so for a minute, I argue with myself. Finally I don't say anything, I just run away and go out onto the patio. I get out of sight of my friends and lean over the balcony slightly, watching the Los Angeles sun set over the water.

I can feel myself shaking inside slightly—I'm embarrassed by the way I just ran out. I should be in there supporting Grace and Nelson no matter how upset I am. There's no one out here on the balcony—thankfully—so I pound my fists against the marble railing and yell angrily, "So stupid!"

I'm being stupid, I know that. I just. . . want a baby.

I slip back inside and see all my friends busy laughing and talking and congratulating Nelson and Grace. They don't notice me as I slip away to the other side of the restaurant—the bar. I don't drink, but first times never hurt.

I need this.

I sit down in one of the bar stools and ask the bartender for something strong. He looks me up and down and then grabs something strong, but not horribly strong. I give him a questioning look. "If I give you my strongest, little lady, you'll be on your ass halfway through it."

I blush and realize that he's probably right. I don't intend to get drunk, just a little tipsy, maybe. I came here in Kacey and Kevin's car, so I definitely won't be driving home. He gives me a vodka tonic and I drink it. The taste is different to me, and I make a face at first, but I remind myself it doesn't matter what it tastes like.

I just need to feel something other than disappointment tonight.

I don't know how much time has gone by, but I'm pretty sure my food already made it to the table a while ago. No one's come to look for me though—and why would they look for a girl who doesn't drink at the bar? They won't look here.

I'm on the second vodka tonic and I'm already feeling tipsy. I listen to the conversations around me—though it all sounds like buzzing and ringing. As I go to ask for a third, someone grabs a hold of my wrist. "I think you've had enough," they say.

My eyes meet dark brown ones and then I—against my will—giggle. "No, I'm just getting started!" I whine, tilting my head back and finishing the second vodka tonic. The glad gets pulled away from my lips and I whine.

"You know this woman?" the bartender asks the boy in front of me. He nods his head and then helps me out of my seat.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'll take her home now," Zander apologizes. I get free of Zander's grip on my wrists and start flailing my arms at him, whacking him wherever I can. I'm not hitting very hard though because he's not even flinching.

The bartender nods at Zander and watches as he drags me away.

"No, no, no—no! I wasn't done!" I whine loudly, trying to get free of his arms. He pulls me out of the restaurant completely and out to the parking lot. The cold air hits me and I calm suddenly, but feel sick—probably from the flailing.

I feel like I'm going to fall over—I've tripped enough. "Steves, I don't think you're tipsy. . . I think you're drunk. You're lucky I found you in that bar—much to my surprise—otherwise you'd be in trouble. You'll thank me tomorrow."

"Where are we going?" I giggle, stumbling over my feet again. Zander, finally having enough, scoops me up into his arms and walks to what I'm pretty sure is his car. He opens the passenger side and puts me into the sit and buckles me in.

Then he gets into the driver's side and starts the car up. "You're not going to wear a seatbelt?" I ask, giggling for no apparent reason.

"I'm not the one that won't sit still," Zander says, teasing slightly. He smirks at me and then turns his direction back to the road.

I look around the car and play with the buttons, and after everything I turn on, Zander turns them off. I pout at him, but he doesn't seem to feel guilty. "Are you taking me home?" I ask after a little while.

"Well, I'm not bringing you back to your apartment. I think your brother would kill me if your ex-boyfriend brought you home drunk. I'd rather just avoid dying tonight," he jokes. I giggle and mess up my hair as I play with it—_why am I so ditzy?_ My mind briefly wonders.

"So. . . are we going to your place?" I ask trying to sound seductive; my voice is nowhere near seductive though, and I feel too giggly. He looks over at me.

"Geez, you're really drunk," he says, laughing quietly. "We are going to my apartment, but you're going straight to sleep, missy." I can hear he's teasing and I giggle. Something about this screams _WRONG_ but my mind is too foggy to figure out why this seems wrong, but feels right.

"Will you come with me?" I ask, giggling again. I can feel myself blushing, but oddly I'm confident of my question.

"Not while you're drunk. You'd take it the wrong way tomorrow," he says laughing. He pulls into the lot of his apartment building and then gets me out of the car; I'm in his arms and he's carrying me into the building to his apartment.

"No, I won't. What if I want you to come with me?" I ask, running my fingers through his hair; it's fluffier and softer than I remember, or maybe my hands are numb from the alcohol. I whisper the words into his ear and watch as his lips turn up slightly in a smile.

"As. . . inviting as that sounds," he whispers back, unlocking the door to his apartment. He brings me inside and down the hallway to his room. He sets me on the bed and pulls my heels off. "You're drunk. I'd rather things happen while you're aware."

I pout at him, "I'm fine, Z. Come on!"

He sits me up and tugs my dress off over my head. I feel slightly upset as he doesn't pay attention to my body—what does that mean? He just goes over to the dresser and grabs a shirt (it looks like it'll be huge on me). Then he grabs a pair of shorts and comes back to me.

"Lift your arms up," he says quietly. I do as he says, still pouting. He slips the shirt down on me and then lifts me up to put the shorts on me. "Now," he says once he's done, "I'm going to get you some water and pill to help you sleep."

He leaves the room and I lie down on the bed, frowning. I want him to be all over me though. Maybe it's just the alcohol—something in the back of my head is fuzzy, but vaguely it says that that would be a bad idea.

The bed is really comfy and I hear the tap running out in the kitchen; it must be Zander getting me water. I hear the tap turn off and his shoes coming down the hallway, but I'm already half-asleep before he gets here.

I hear the glass gently placed on the side table and the small _clink_ of the pill on the table right after it. There's a small tingling on my cheek and then my forehead, and that's the last thing I'm aware of before I fall asleep.

**A/N: So, that was the 7th Chapter! :D How did you like it? Please let me know loves and thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8 - The Next Morning

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter! I won't get into replies because there wasn't many reviews, but thanks so much to all the people that did read and review! :D**

**Thanks to **_**LunarEclipse22428**_** for pointing the many errors the last time I posted this chapter! I was in a rush and I started typing it really late last night. So, there's that. Lulu's cover is still up—I thought it wasn't because it wasn't showing up on YouTube on my phone (jank phone). **

**Anyway, hope you enjoy the edit if you read the original version (which made very little sense!) xD**

**~Chapter 8~**

**~The Next Morning~**

**STEVIE's POV**

I slowly wake and I don't bother opening my eyes-there's a blistering pain in my skull. My bed feels oddly more comfortable than. . . ever?

I take a risk and open my eyes but slam them shut a second later-ow, that really hurts. But then I realize something. I sit up much too quickly and sway as the blood rushes (again, ow). My eyes fly open.

This isn't my room!? I can feel a panic attack coming on. I throw the covers off of me and all of a sudden, I feel sick.

I run out of the room and into the hallway and spot the bathroom next door. I run into the bathroom and lean over the toilet and throw up everything I had yesterday-what happened yesterday? All I remember is dinner and running out before Grace and Nelson's big news, and after that. . . I'm totally lost.

I hear footsteps run towards the door and then I see the person in the doorway.

Zander.

I'm in Zander's apartment. I suddenly don't feel the need to panic and so I calm down slightly. But part of me is worried about how I even got here in the first place. Did we do something?

"I was wondering when you'd wake up," he says walking up behind me. I'm kneeled in front of the toilet and he brushes my hair back to keep it out of the way.

Through coughs and chokes I manage, "I didn't know where I was. . . so I panicked."

"That's not why you threw up," he chuckles. "You got drunk."

"No, I didn't," I cough. I don't drink, how could I have gotten drunk?

"Let me guess; you feel like complete crap, your head pounding and you don't remember anything from last night?"

". . .so what?" I snap, puking into the toilet again. Zander brushes my hair back again and waits until I finish vomiting—for now.

"You. Got. Drunk." he laughs. His hand gently strokes my back and I relax.

"I don't drink," I mumble, spitting up.

"You drunk a lot last night. Well, a lot for you. Vodka tonic definitely put you on your ass," he laughs.

"Stop enjoying this. Why are you even helping me anyway?" I hiss. He helps me stand up once I feel like I'm okay enough to. He pulls a bottle of mouth wash, a toothbrush, and a tube of toothpaste from the cabinet and hands it to me.

"Not for the reason you think," he answers. What does _that_ mean? Of course I know why he's helping me! He's trying to get on my good side—is that the whole reason he made this deal with me? No, of course not, he wants a child too. . .

But does he mean there's more to it than that? I'm making my hangover worse just thinking about this.

I thank him, but before he leaves I ask, "Did. . . we do anything last night?" He can see I'm serious.

"No, Steves," and with that he walks out of the bathroom, but I know he's going to make a joke because he comes back smiling like a fool, "If we had done anything, you wouldn't be out of bed yet," he winks.

I bite my lip and blush and listen to him walk down the hallway laughing. "Don't get cocky, Robbins!" I call back, rolling my eyes.

I open the tube of toothpaste and put some on the toothbrush. I take a while carefully cleaning my teeth and then focus on my breath and getting rid of the taste of alcohol-returned when it's time for the mouth wash.

After about fifteen minutes I walk into the kitchen where Zander's looking for something.

"Uh. . . I appreciate the clothes for last night, but. . . where are mine?"

"Uh. . ." he's slightly distracted, maybe he's looking for something. "Uh. . . they're in the dryer right now."

"You can work a dryer?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

He scowls at me.

"When you've lived alone as long as I have, you tend to learn things," he replied a bit edgy. He continues to look around the kitchen.

"What's your deal?" I snap.

"I'm looking for my—"

"—Not that!" I cry frustrated, "I meant what's with the edge?"

He hesitates for a minute and then sighs, "I'm sorry. . . it's not important, I just slept wrong last night. I haven't slept on the couch in years." He runs his fingers through his hair and then looks at me, "You're leaving already?"

"Well, once I get my clothes back, yes, why?" I ask, yawning. The taste of vodka-returned is gone, thankfully, but I still feel like crap.

"Well, I know Nelson and Grace's new yesterday hit you hard—though you weren't actually there to hear it—"

"—they told me before dinner," I say quietly.

"Right," he responds, "Well, I was wondering if you were up to trying again today?" He doesn't seem worried about asking me, and maybe that's why I feel the urge to say yes—part of it is that. . . I _want_ to.

I puff out my cheeks slightly as I think. "Uh. . . sure," I say quietly, shrugging my shoulders. Zander smiles at me and, completely forgetting what he was looking for, he walks towards me and scoops me up into his arms.

I bite my lip before saying, "You know I can walk." I keep my arms around his neck, afraid that I'll fall.

"I beg to differ, Steves. Should've seen yourself last night," he responds laughing. He kicks the door aside and lays me down on his bed. Oddly, this is how I pictured the first time Zander and I would make love, but that was when I thought we would be together forever.

Now, we're just trying to have a child, we're not together. He's trying his best to do things his way—does he wants us back together? He knows I'll never agreed to that—he's not even breaking the rules, just bending them, which makes this whole thing worse.

We spend most of the day trying to conceive a child. I keep in mind, "_Not because I want this. Because doing this more and more increases the chances of getting what I want_"; but a small part of me just wants Zander. . . without trying for a child. This is all too confusing, and terrifying.

I don't want Zander, but I do.

What the hell is he doing to me?

**|/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\|**

When I've finally gone home and faced the panic/fury of my brother, I go into my room and drop my bag on the side table, but it falls over and the box of pregnancy tests falls open and goes all over the place.

"Dammit!" I cry, frustrated. As I bend down to pick them up, the door flies open and it's my brother.

"What was—what are those?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You've got two kids, you should know," I snap, cleaning them up. I don't bother lying to him because it's painfully obvious what they are.

I shove them back into their box and then back into my bag. "Why do you have them?" my brother asks, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.

"I'm not so sure that really concerns you," I respond sitting down on my bed. It really doesn't concern him—not now anyway. "Look, just don't be angry. I want a child, but I don't want a relationship. So—"

"—so you're sleeping with some guy? Why can't you just do artificial insemination like normal women without a man?"

"Because I just don't want to," I answer simply. "I want my child to have a father, but I just don't want a relationship."

"And you actually found a guy willing to be the father without a relationship?" my brother asks incredulously. It really does sound impossible, but I nod my head.

"He offered," I answer.

"He as in who?"

"That's not really important," I say quickly, avoiding eye contact. My brothers know what Zander did to me, and if I tell my brother that I'm going to have Zander's child, he and my other brothers will probably kill us both.

"I think it is," my brother responds. He's just as stubborn as I am.

"Look, can we talk later please? I need to call Kacey and apologize for last night," I say, changing the topic. My brother reluctantly gives in and walks back to the living room where, due to my hangover, the TV sounds much too loud.

I call Kacey's cell phone and before the first ring finishes, she picks up and she's yelling into it, "_STEVIE BASKARA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT LAST NIGHT! DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE THAT ZANDER PULLED YOU OUT OF THAT RESTAURANT! GOD, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS!?" _

I hold the phone away from my ear until she's done screaming. "Kacey!" I cry into the phone to shut her up—I can hear she's ready to keep yelling. "I'm sorry, okay!? I just. . . I don't know why I did it, I don't drink! I just wasn't myself yesterday."

"_CLEARLY_," Kacey yells, still heated.

"Grace and Nelson told me about their pregnancy before dinner. . . I'm just jealous," I say the last part quietly. Kacey gets ready to yell again, but I hear her voice catch in her throat.

"J-Jealous? Oh, Stevie, is this about…? I'm sorry! I didn't know. . . you're not pregnant?" she asks. I can hear the sympathy in her voice.

"No," I answer lamely. I rub my eyes with one hand and hold the phone against my ear with the other.

Kacey gasps into the phone, why I don't know, and I then yell at her to stop being so loud.

"I'm sorry, but OMG! Now I know why you brought Zander! You two are sleeping together, aren't you!? I knew you wouldn't hate him forever! When's the wedding?" she teases. I don't reprimand her for the joke—though I want to yell at her for it.

"There is no wedding! And we're not sleeping together! I just didn't want to be the only single one there," I lie. I don't want her to know that my deal is with Zander.

Not yet.

"Zander isn't helping me get pregnant, okay?" I know it's all a lie, and eventually she'll find out, but I don't want to deal with this.

"So, who is the father then? Well, you're not pregnant yet, so. . . _who will_ the father be?" she asks after a moment of silence. At first, I thought the call dropped, but I was wrong.

"I can't tell you that yet," I say, yawning. This morning exhausted me, but to avoid thinking about it, I change the topic.

Kacey lets it go and we talk a little bit more after that, and eventually hang up. I can't keep lying to everyone about Zander _not_ be the father—though no one knows yet, but I just don't know how the situation will play out. If I don't get pregnant this time—and there's a likely chance that I will. . . then I have to find someone else. So I can stop lying.

Someone other than Zander.

**A/N: So, there's chapter 8! Hope you enjoyed it! Hopefully I fixed all the mistakes, LunarEclipse22428? :) Thanks again, love, for letting me know what was wrong!**


	9. Chapter 9 - A Big Mess

**A/N: HAPPY ZEVIE DAY! :D Sorry my updates have (okay, what updates?) I've been so lazy because it's been WAY TOO hot! So, my apologies! I'm going to try and make this chapter long! :D I better see some Zevie Day stories by late tonight or tomorrow… just saying. **

**I am not giving up on any of my fanfics currently, so please stop reviewing with pleads to continue. I am continuing my fics :) it's just that I get lazy or busy or writers' block… so yeah. **

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**~Chapter 9~**

**~A Big Mess~**

**STEVIE's POV**

I sit on the bathroom counter glancing over at the test beside me every couple of seconds. _Please be positive. . ._I think.

I pull my phone from my pocket as I'm too impatient to wait for the test to finish. There's a text from Zander, I notice. It says:

_Hey, Steves. How'd the test go? Have you taken it yet? –Z_

I bite my lower lip and put the phone down, face-down so I don't have to look at it. I don't know how to respond to Zander's text message. The test isn't done yet.

After a couple minutes of what seemed liked endless-waiting, I leave the bathroom and go to my bedroom and curl up under the blankets miserably. _Negative_, again. I don't want to look for someone else to make a baby with. Zander's the one that came to me—no other guy is going to. Healthy couples usually try for up to 2 to 3 years before they have their first kid.

Not that Zander and I are a couple, but as far as I know, we're both healthy. I just don't want to wait that long. . . If I have to have sex with Zander for the next two or three years, eventually my feelings are going to resurface, and I don't want them too.

That's the only thing that makes me so hesitant about this whole deal. Should I continue? Sex just complicates everything. . . I'm trying not to fall for him. . . but it's hard.

I do miss being around him, I'll admit it. But I can't forgive him, and relationships are one-hundred percent trust. . . I can't trust Zander anymore, and I honestly wish I could. This whole thing would be so much easier. I'd stop overthinking about it.

I still haven't answered Zander's text message—in fact, my phone is still in the bathroom on the counter, face-down. . .

After a good half hour of lying in bed, sulking, there's a knock on the front door of the apartment.

My heart stops.

Zander's not stupid enough to come knocking on my door when my brother—I never told him about my brother living here, did I? _Crap!_

I fly out of my bed, out of the bedroom and out into the living room when I see my brother Ash has already answered the door. My heart's racing now. Zander's outside the door, in the hallway. He doesn't seem afraid of my brother whom is towering over him by a foot, foot-and-a-half with arms crossed.

My brother knows exactly what Zander did to me seven years ago. . .

"What are you doing here?" Ashton sneers, staring directly at Zander who doesn't seem at all nervous, still.

"I'm here to check on Stevie. . . surely she's mentioned our—"

"—_No!_" I hiss, catching both their attention. Zander awkwardly clears his throat and doesn't say anything after that. My brother isn't an idiot though, and he quickly pieces a couple things together—unfortunately.

"Wait, wait, wait—_he's_ the guy who proposed this whole baby deal you were telling me about the other day?" Ash asks, raising his eyebrows slightly, staring me down. He looks just like our dad did when he would scold us and our other three brothers.

"Dammit!" Ash growls, "Don't you remember what he did to you, Stevie? God, I thought you were smarter! Did you forget that this scumbag _hit_ you, or is all that sex enough to overlook something like that?" He couldn't give a damn how rude he's being—another Baskara trait that comes about when we're angry.

"_Ash!_" I cry, embarrassed and appalled.

"Well? Clearly you forgive him!"

Zander watches the argument awkwardly, knowing if he runs Ash will just drag him back. Zander's not an idiot, and he doesn't look afraid either, but he definitely looks uncomfortable.

"I don't!" I snap in response, sighing angrily, "But we both want a child, Ash. . . even if that means putting aside something. . . _awful_ that happened seven years ago." I make sure to put some emphasis on the "seven" so maybe my brother will ease up.

Of course, he doesn't.

I know I haven't entirely put aside what happened seven years ago either, but at least I'm trying. Another Baskara trait. . . holding a grudge. Ash isn't eased at all, however; he turns around and swings his arm, catching Zander right in the left side of his jaw.

Zander stumbled backwards, hitting his back against the wall behind him. He groans loudly, but Ash isn't done yet. He grabs Zander by the collar of his shirt and swings his arm again, this time punching him square in the left eye.

"Ash! Stop it!" I cry, running to grab his arm which is ready to swing again. "Stop it!" I manage to pull Ashton off of Zander and I watch as he stalks off angrily to his bedroom to cool down. He slams the door shut and that's the last sound I hear from him.

I'm going to have to explain things later on. What a mess.

"I'm really sorry," I mumble, biting my lip. I help Zander to his feet and over to the couch inside the apartment. I walk to the kitchen and grab an ice pack form the freezer for him; when I return to the couch, I gently place the ice pack over the whole left side of his face.

He groans slightly as the cold numbs the sore places on his face.

His skin has already bruised a dark, brownish-blue around his eye, and a dark brownish-yellow on his jaw. I gently feel his jaw bone for any breaks, and he hisses in pain, but thankfully nothing is broken. Ashton is a pretty tough guy. . .

"It's fine," he responds softly, watching me with his good eye.

"Did you walk here or drive?" I ask, holding the ice pack on his face gently.

"Thank you, Steves. . . for the ice. And I walked here," he answers, watching me still. I know he's trying to read my facial expressions—he was originally here for an answer about the test.

"It was negative," I say so he'll give up staring at me.

The right side of his lips turn down slightly and he replies, "We can just try again, whenever you're ready. . . if you want to continue with this deal, I mean?"

I answer a bit too quickly, "I want to continue. . . nobody else is going to walk up to me, offering to help."

He seems slightly. . . put off? Was it something I said?

There's an awkward silence—a heavy tension between us. I clear my throat and say finally, "Would you like me to drive you home? I'd let you stay tonight, but it's probably not safe with Ashton living here. I'm sorry I never brought that up too. . . I didn't think you'd ever come here, honestly."

He shakes his head, careful not to lose the ice pack. "Don't be sorry, Steves. It was an honest mistake."

"Yeah," I mumble, still feeling guilty.

"You can drive me home if you'd like. I'm not a big fan of the passenger seat though," he chuckles quietly.

"I don't blame you," I respond, smiling slightly. I'm always anxious and afraid in the passenger's seat—I like control when I'm driving.

"You can stay at my apartment tonight," he says, and before I can protest—he knows I'm about to—he covers my mouth and chuckles, "Let your brother cool down. I know he's going to want an explanation and I'm pretty sure you don't want to give on tonight, do you?"

He gives me a knowing look and I sigh into his hand, giving in. I know he's right.

After a couple minutes of gathering a set of clothes for tomorrow and my phone from the bathroom counter, I grab my car keys and help Zander out to the parking lot. I get him into the passenger seat and then I walk to the driver's side and get in.

"Zander," I say quietly, after a couple minutes of driving on smooth, dark pavement with only the headlights for guidance in front of me. We'd been sitting in silence the whole ride. "I really am sorry for what Ash did. . ."

"Steves, stop apologizing. I deserve it," he sighs, staring out the windshield.

I bite my lip, torn between arguing with him or agreeing.

I don't say anything for a moment. "I really am though. . . one punch would've been enough, and it should've come from me," I say, trying to joke. It's a failed attempt, but Zander chuckles slightly.

"Might not have hurt so bad," he shrugs.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, not at all offended, but pretending to be. He laughs, but I tense suddenly. Joking, flirting. . . talking, it all brings back memories of when we were together, and there's a hollow aching in the center of my chest.

I miss being this way with him. . . I miss being his. . . I. . . _miss him_.

With tense shoulders, I drive the rest of the way to his apartment in silence, barely answering anything he says. The tension between us becomes thick and awkward once again, the hollow aching in my chest gets bigger.

We're stopped at a red light a few streets from his apartment. It of course, has to be the longest light in the city and it's late out. I want to get to his apartment and crash, and I know his bruises are getting sore. . . he must be exhausted too.

"Stevie, you don't have to get so uncomfortable around me. . . I've told you this before," he says softly, reaching a hand over to touch mine. The light's still red and I gasp as his fingers run along the skin of my wrist.

"Please don't touch me," I say quietly, feeling the sparks travel up my arm and down my spine. Wait, sparks? No, no, no. . . they're just tingles, they happen to everyone.

He keeps his hand on my wrist and says, "Will you just listen to me? I'm not ever going to hurt you the way I did. . . not ever again. Don't you trust that?"

"Zander, I don't know how to trust you anymore, I'm sorry. . . you were the last person I ever expected to hit me. I put a lot of trust in you back then, but I can't anymore." I keep my stare straight ahead at the red light that is taking forever to turn green.

_Come on, you stupid light._

"Please look at me, St—"

"—I'm watching the road—"

"—Stevie, please? It will be a lot easier to talk to you if I'm looking at your eyes and not the side of your head. . . still a lovely view," he says, and I can tell even through the dark that he's smiling slightly.

"Stop doing that!" I cry, slamming my eyes shut, frustrated. "You can't think that little comments and sweet gestures that you do will get me back! They won't!"

"That's because you're fighting them. I'm trying to show you how sorry I am, and how _desperately_ I want you back to myself, Stevie. . . since you left seven years ago, and didn't answer my calls or my texts or anything. . . I wanted you back so badly. I still want you. I know you can't forgive me for what I did, I can't even forgive myself."

_Turn green, dumb light!_

"Please look at me," he says so quietly I almost miss it.

I open my eyes and look over at him hesitantly. I swallow thickly, nervously, as I see how close he really is to me. I can see small orbs of red light in his dark brown eyes—from the traffic light.

"Thank you," he says, smiling slightly. I bite my lip and take in his features in the darkness. The ice pack is somewhere, and I can see the dark bruises on his skin. Oddly, I feel like kissing them both softly and hoping that's enough to make the pain stop and the blemishes disappear.

I lick my lips and watch as he does the same.

His lips are so close to mine that his breath—which smells a lot like coffee, surprise, surprise—tickles my skin.

"If I kissed you right now, what would you do?" he whispers, raising his eyebrows a bit, curious.

I turn my head away quickly, coming back to reality, and I see the light's turned green. Thankfully, there aren't any cars behind us and I step on the gas and continue driving to his apartment. "I wouldn't kiss back," I reply as quietly as possible. "It wouldn't be right. . . I'm not supposed to love you—not anymore."

"That's what you believe," he says. "I believe we're supposed to love each other. . . and what happened seven years ago was a bump in the road. . ."

"A big bump," I scoff.

He reaches across me and turns the wheel so we drive to the side in the breakdown lane.

"What are you doing?" I cry nervously, afraid I'm not longer in control of the car.

I step on the breaks and the car comes to a dead stop. "Stevie, I know what I did to you. I'm sorry you're still hurt, but don't you think it's a bit unfair that you made a deal with me, and you're not willing to let things be?"

"No, I think that is fair. This is a deal, Zander. Not a relationship."

"If I kiss you right now, and refuse to let you pull away, do you honestly think you're going to not kiss me back? At all?"

"The deal was that we try for a baby, and kissing is not allowed," I remind him, clutching the steering wheel tightly. "And I don't see what you're question has anything to do with. . ."

He laughs, unconvinced by my act of cluelessness. "You know exactly what it has to do with this. I see the way you fight with yourself, Stevie. You seem to forget that before you left me, we were together for a pretty long time. I know you, believe it or not. I know how you work, and I know how you argue with yourself about things that can be so freaking simple!"

"There is nothing simple about this!" I cry angrily. "We made a deal, and that's it! It's a _deal!_ I'm not looking to fall in love with you again, Zander! I'm sorry if that's what you want, but I just can't bring myself to do it!"

"See? You fight with yourself and complicate everything! If you just let yourself go with the way things are going to go, we wouldn't be talking about it right now!"

"I need air," I snap, getting out of the car. I know the car is still running, I could've just opened a window, but I don't want to be less than a foot from Zander right now. His voice, his scent, everything about him is fogging my thoughts and it's not helping anything.

Of course, he gets out of the car and stands beside me. I'm leaning against the back of the car with my arms crossed. My eyes are closed and I'm breathing slowly through my nose.

"Stevie, come on. . ." he pleads, placing his hands on my shoulders. I don't bother shaking him off, I just continue to breathe through my nose slowly.

"Why can't you just let things play out the way they will?" he asks.

"Because. . . that's what I did when we were dating, Zander. . . and you hurt me. I know that you won't hurt me again, but I just can't adjust to the idea of letting things be anymore. You really hurt me seven years ago. I know you're sorry, and I know that I can trust you not to hurt me, but I just can't let myself!"

"Yes, you can," he says quietly.

"You don't get it," I sigh, biting my lip. "We were always arguing when we were together. Yeah, couples fight, but we were always at it, because you always had some choice to make. Being together means we face things together. I felt like you didn't want my help, like I wasn't really a part of your whole life. I was willing to commit and help you face anything that came your—_our_ way, but you just wouldn't let me. I tried to believe that that wasn't true, that you did want me in your life, like I left you in mine, but when you hit me. . . I suddenly felt like what I wanted to be wrong about, I was right about. That you didn't want me in that area of your life," I say softly.

I can see the realization dawn on him. I can see now that he realizes exactly why I feel hurt. It's not just about being hit, it's also that I felt like being with him wouldn't mean we were together. . . together as in being a part of team, like commitment means. I felt like I would just be some little trophy to him.

"I'm sorry that I ever made you feel that way, Stevie. I was very young and very stupid, and I didn't treat you the way I should've," Zander says, hugging me close to him. His arms feel right around me, and protective and promising. "I've grown up a lot without you, Stevie, in those seven years. And every day after you left me, I thought about what happened. I realized I was stupid to hurt you, but I didn't realize the full extent of your emotional pain. . . just the physical."

"Well, you know now," I respond, biting my lip. I mentally say _frig it_ and wrap my arms around his waist. I don't care about arguing with myself anymore—arguing gets exhausting. Holding Zander, and Zander holding me is something I've missed so much.

He pulls away from me slightly and much to my surprise, he presses his lips against mine and my first instinct is to push him away, but I remind myself to let it go. His hands are one both sides of my face, cupping my chin, and his lips move against mine slow and soft.

I return the kiss just as gently and keep my arms around his waist. He deepens the kiss and licks along the seam of my lips, asking for entrance. I grant him permission by opening my mouth and he slips his tongue in to battle mine.

I'm reminded of the multiple times, suddenly, that we made out on his couch, or in the front seat of his car, or anywhere we were in private. It doesn't feel like anything's changed, I feel like I'm seven years in the past, and oddly, I feel happy.

Happier than I have been for a long time. I battle his tongue with my own and after a moment he pulls away. He smiles at me and says, "If you're up for it, we can try again right now. . ."

"But we're in the side of the road in the middle of nowhere?" I respond, raising an eyebrow.

"The backseat is much better than the bed," he winks at me. I blush slightly and bite my lip, for what has probably been the billionth time tonight, and then nod smile.

"I guess we can try again," I reply, watching his dark brown eyes turn almost black with lust. But something about this time feels like it'll be different. We won't just be trying for a baby. . . we'll be making love. This time will be more for us letting things be than trying for a baby.

I don't care about fighting my feelings for Zander anymore, I just _want_ him. I want him back in my life. I'm willing to put aside what happened seven long years ago—holding a grudge is so exhausting. I just want Zander, and why it took me so long to realize this is just silly, I realize now.

He takes my hand and leads me around the car. Zander opens the door to the backseat and gets in after I do. He places me on top of him, and we discard our clothes quickly and his hands skim across my waist, tickling my skin.

Sex with Zander before, trying for a baby without love at all, it felt good, but this time, it's just so different. There is love, and I do kiss him—I kiss him more times than I can count, because I want to make up for seven years I let go by because I was too stubborn and selfish and pitying of myself to work things out.

I can't say enough how thankful I am for this road being as dead as it is. I need to be alone with Zander, and have him to myself without any interruptions for the first time in seven years.

_Oh, how I missed him_. . .

**A/N: So, I thought I would put an end to the tension with some beautiful Zevieness! :D Let me know what you thought? Also, this chapter is almost 4,000 words, so hopefully that's a good amount! This story is NOT over, even though that seems like a good place to end it, I suppose. It is NOT OVER! **

**Happy Zevie Day and let's see some more Zevie fics today and tomorrow, huh? :D**


	10. Chapter 10 - Getting Back to Before

**A/N: I feel like I'm losing readers… makes me a bit sad, but it's probably due to my lack of updates. I have a lot of summer work to get through (all honors this year, and one pre-AP class). So, I really need to focus on this work, but I am trying to update my stories. **

**I've starting posting to Wattpad! My first story is a Mulu fanfiction, so if you ship Max and Lulu check it out. It's **_The Coffee Dates: A Mulu Fanfic_.

**Replies: **

_**Liz Marie**_**: Hey, well I'm glad you liked the chapter! That was my favorite one to write :) **

_**Justcallmelarry**_**: Well I'm glad to hear it! :D definitely my favorite chapter to write lol. **

_**Misskikimarie**_: **Aw, I was just getting used to remembering your user and then you changed it :P it's fine though haha. I like this one, definitely easier for me to remember! :D but you're very hard to forget (and I mean that in the best way!) And lovely predictions, but I'm not saying anything yet :P but awww! You're so lovely, darling! Thank you for the sweet reviews! **

**Guest: I'm actually having some writer's block with Victim, I'm looking for a co-writer for that story actually. So, if anyone's interested, PM me! :)**

**Jellybean96: Thanks, love! Loved your Zevie Day fic by the way! I would've reviewed, but when I do it on my phone, it never posts :\ **

**Onto the chapter!**

**~Chapter 10~**

**~Getting Back to Before~**

**STEVIE's POV**

Instead of waking up by myself, I wake up beside Zander. He's got his arms around my waist though, and his breath tickles the back of my neck. I smile and blink the fogginess out of my eyes. The ceiling fan is on low and the windows are cracked open; I can faintly hear rain hitting the glass outside.

It's honestly a good way to wake up.

Everything is calm, like how I feel. It reminds me of all the times when we were dating, that I would lie to my parents and say I was at Kacey's. I'd actually be over at Zander's for the night, and we'd stay up all night. Whoever fell asleep first lost the game.

I usually always lost.

But I'd wake up in his room with his arms around me. We never did anything. . . in fact, I was a virgin before this deal started, but we did sleep together when we were dating. Just sleep.

I turn slightly in his arms, careful not to wake him up. I just want to remember every detail about him, and see what's changed in the seven years we were apart. I do regret not working things out seven years ago. . . maybe Zander and I would be married now, and have a child or two. . .

I guess I ruined a lot of chances when I was busy pitying myself.

My eyes slowly look over every inch of his face. I take in every feature; his nose, his cheekbones, his soft, perfect lips. Then my eyes fall on the dark bruises on his jaw and left eye. They look painful, no doubt he'll be in some pain today. I rub my thumb over the bruise on his jaw lightly, feeling for any lump or something.

His chest rises and falls evenly with each breath, and suddenly his eyelids flutter as he wakes slightly. I wait for him to open his eyes—his gorgeous, dark brown eyes—and then I smile, "Good morning."

He smiles back and kisses my cheek, "Morning, Steves. I almost forgot our conversation last night, but you wouldn't be in my arms this morning if we'd never had it," he chuckles.

I laugh, "That's most likely true. . ."

He rubs his eyes and then yawns. When he sits up, Zander stretches his arms and back and winces slightly, sore. After our little love-making session in the backseat of my car last night, we'd gotten to his apartment shortly after and climbed into bed for some sleep. At about 3 in the morning, Zander woke me up, quite eagerly. . .

Needless to say, I'm a bit tired and sore from this morning as well, but I'm happy.

"Sore?" I ask him, already knowing the answer.

He laughs, "A little, but it was worth it."

Zander smiles at me before he walks to the bathroom nearby. I watch as he leaves and then curl up under the soft white blanket on his bed. The room smells just like his cologne, and the bed sheets smell like it too.

The pillows as well.

It's a bit strong, but it doesn't make me gag or make my eyes water. I like the scent. I don't hear him come into the room, but I notice he's back when the bed dips behind me a bit. His lips place small kisses on my neck and I can't help but smile.

The blanket is so comfortable, and his body feels good pressed against mine—I feel like I might fall asleep. But Zander has other plans, apparently. His lips trail over my shoulder and goosebumps start to form on my skin.

"You're so eager, and I'm so sore," I laugh, snuggling under the covers more.

Zander chuckles quietly in my ear, and his breath on my skin sends shivers down my body. He peels the covers off of me and turns me so that I'm lying on my back. I open my eyes to watch him, and he climbs on top of me; he pins my arms above my head, tangling his fingers with mine, and presses his hips against my hips.

I bite my lip at the feeling and close my eyes as his lips find my neck again. I believe he's just trying to get me in the mood—despite the soreness in my body, I give in.

I guess I can handle a little more soreness. . .

A few hours later, I find myself on the couch, in the living room, wearing a pair of Zander's shorts and a t-shirt that's a little too big on me—also his. I'd taken my contacts out a while ago, so I'm wearing my glasses too and my hair's pulled back quite un-neatly.

Zander comes back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn and plays the movie we've decided on. He sits beside me and then pulls me onto his lap. I feel, once again, like I'm seven years in the past. His apartment has changed a bit, yeah, but suddenly it's like our relationship is back and it's like he never hit me.

I know he never meant to, and I guess I still don't fully trust him yet. . . but I know that he won't intentionally hurt me. He wraps his arms around my waist and I feed him some popcorn as well as myself.

"Zander?" I ask, a while later—halfway through the movie.

"Yeah?" he asks, still watching the movie.

I bite my lip for a moment before saying, "I am really sorry. . . for not listening to you seven years ago. If I hadn't been so stubborn, maybe things would be different right now. . ."

"Don't apologize. I hurt you badly, Stevie. I understand why, now, you wouldn't let me back into your life. But you're giving me this second chance, and I will do everything that I can to earn your trust again. I don't want to screw this up."

"Well. . . thank you, Zander. But I can't shake the feeling that maybe everything would be different if I had just talked things out with you instead of running away," I frown, my eyes fixated on the TV. I'm not watching the movie anymore though, it's more of a blank stare.

"Different how?" Zander asks curiously, tangling a curl of mine around his finger.

I shrug my shoulders slightly, "Maybe. . ." I blush, feeling shy suddenly. Maybe these are just silly thoughts. "Maybe. . . we'd be together. . . like married, and maybe we'd have a baby by now, or two. . ." My cheeks feel hot as lava suddenly; I'm afraid he'll start laughing.

He doesn't though. He looks at me as he says, "Things would be different I guess. Those ideas sound better than what we are right now." He laughs quietly. I crack a small smile, he's right. We're not even together—are we?—we're trying for a child, but the outcome hasn't been good at all.

The tests keep coming back negative, but maybe this time Zander and I will have a baby.

"Zander, if I do pregnant, what are we going to do? At first, when I was trying so hard to convince myself this was all just a deal, I figured I'd get pregnant and we would take turns raising the child. You know, we wouldn't be living together, not that we are now. . ."

He takes what I'm saying and thinks about it for a few, very long minutes.

"Well, I would like to think we're dating again," Zander says, watching my reaction. I would like to think we're dating again, too. "If we are dating again, then I want you to move in with me once we know you're pregnant. . ."

I bite my lip.

Ash will throw a fit if I say I'm moving out to live with Zander, but he'll have his own place since the divorce, so maybe I could convince him.

"I just want to raise the baby together," Zander says quietly. "I grew up having to go back and forth between my mother and father and I freaking hated it," he explains. "The last thing I want it _our_ child to have to live through the same thing."

I nod my head, "I see your reasoning. I wouldn't mind moving in, in fact, I think it's better. . ." I say. I turn back to the movie, and so does Zander.

We're avoiding the biggest question/issue at the moment.

Are we having the baby outside of marriage, or. . .?

**A/N: So, that's chapter 10! A little more Zevieness, but in that Zevieness you see there's still some awkwardness. So, it's not like suddenly everything's okay (that would totally ruin the plot).**

**Thoughts? :)**


	11. Chapter 11 - You and Me

**A/N: Well, I'm wide awake (it's 12:30 AM right now), and I wasn't going to write, but my friend Brooke sort of made me and so it put me in a write-y mood haha. So, thank Brooke everyone :D**

**Anyway, onto the replies!**

_**Guest**_**: My, my… that is A LOT of pleases! Haha, is this soon enough for you? :) I hope so! Lol and whatever Stevie gets pregnant with (if she gets pregnant at all), will be up to moi haha. **

_**DreamStar77**_**: Thanks! :) I try to be very realistic with my writing. I think it just makes it more enjoyable. Like TV shows and movies try to keep the dialogue as normal as possible while still fitting to the plot, because otherwise it would just turn everyone off, you know? And to everyone reading, THERE IS A TWIST. But I'm not telling what it is (that'd ruin it!) and I'm not telling when it's coming. Muhaha.**

_**Jellybean96**_**: *slow chant* Alternate ending… alternate ending… alternate ending… alternate ending… alternate ending… :D**

_**Misskikimarie**_**: If Stevie gets pregnant at all, it won't be a twist haha. Or maybe it will? I'm not the one reading chapter by chapter lol. I already know how this story goes, obviously. There will be a twist (as I've mentioned) and you'll all either hate me for it, or hate me for it and keep reading xD**

**Onto the story! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own "You and Me" by Lifehouse **

**~Chapter 11~**

**~You and Me~**

**STEVIE's POV**

Everyone decided to dress casually tonight—we're just out for Chinese food. I took a pregnancy test before Zander and I left to meet up with our friends, and it's still sitting on the bathroom counter back at his apartment, waiting to be read.

All throughout dinner, everyone can see that I'm eager to be somewhere else—they don't know that someone else is Zander's apartment (somewhere I, myself would never have expected in the past seven years to be eager about going to). I feel bad, because I know it's bothering them, but I really just want my test result.

I'm being selfish. . . I just really feel like this time I'm pregnant.

Kacey pulls me aside after everyone orders and says, "You could at least try to act like you _want_ to be here, you know. We've all gotten over what happened the last time we were out having dinner."

I feel somewhat offended that Kacey is even throwing this in my face right now, especially when she knows exactly why I got drunk and made a fool of myself. It's not like I'd been trying to, I was just distraught. . . and now I know that I can't drink much before I'm on my ass.

"I really do want to be here," I reply, clearly hurt. "I just. . ." I sigh, defeated. I can't lie to my best friend anymore, "I took a pregnancy test before I got here, and I'm just really eager to know the result. . ."

Her jaw drops and then she squeals, bouncing in place. I slam my hand over her mouth and look back at our table. No one noticed her outburst.

Good.

"Can you _not_ do that?" I hiss.

Kacey calms herself and then says, "Sorry! I'm just excited for you!"

"Don't get too excited," I deadpan, biting my lip. "The last like three or four tests were all negative."

"Awww," Kacey frowns. "Well, lucky for you, trying isn't so bad. Zander's a hunk, and he's probably as good in bed as he is at singing," she teases, raising her eyebrows at me.

Now it's my jaw that drops, "How did you know Zander is who I'm—"

"—sleeping with? I didn't. But I've had my suspicions, and you just confirmed them," she smirks. Kacey has always been the devious one. I should've remembered this, she finds everything out. _Everything_. "And you two are suddenly not at each other's throats, _and_ you guys don't mind being at the same place at the same time anymore, _and_ Ash called me the other night. He said he was worried about you after you left with Zander. You should really go home and talk things out with him, Stevie. He is your brother, he just cares about you. Like he should," she says, rubbing my arm lightly.

"Thanks," I mumble, not really wanting to go back to my apartment. I know I have to though. But not tonight.

"_Sooo_," Kacey mumbles, trying to speak without smirking. Uh oh. That's her gossipy tone. "How is he?"

"Who? Ash? I haven't been to my apartment in a few days, I wouldn't—"

"No!" Kacey laughs at my cluelessness. "I meant Zander! How is he, you know, _between the sheets_?" she smirks this time and my cheeks heat up.

I mentally cringe.

"I'm not discussing with you my sexual experiences with Zander, Kacey," I cry, embarrassed. I keep my voice quiet so no one nearby will hear us—I think I'd die. I look back at the table to make sure no is watching us.

No one is.

"Oh, come on! You guys don't talk for years and suddenly you're back together, making love! That's a really hot story, Stevie! And Zander's got a body!"

"Kacey, please don't make me," I beg, desperate to end this conversation immediately.

"Fine," she says reluctantly, and clearly disappointed. "But I'll have you know that I'm not a coward, like you, to admit that my husband is good—"

"_Ahhh!_" I whine, covering my ears and blushing from my head to my toes. I really do not need to know how Kevin is in bed. He's like my brother, that's just creepy!

"Kacey, please! Look, our food's here, let's go!" I cry, pulling her by the wrist back to the table where our food is being served. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get me away from that conversation. I know one of these nights though, when Kacey demands she, Grace and I have a girls' night, I'm going to have Hell to answer to.

"This isn't over," Kacey scowls, clearly annoyed by the interruption. We take our seats; Kacey next to Kevin, and me next to Zander.

"You two were gone quite a while," Zander says suddenly, once we're at the car. It's about eleven-thirty at night, and everyone's just left the restaurant to go home. It was a fun evening among friends.

I shrug my shoulders as I get into the passenger's side of Zander's car. He shuts the door after me and gets in on the driver's side and starts the car up. "We were just talking," I say nonchalantly, hoping Zander will take my answer and leave it at that.

"Making up stories to please Kacey about how I got these manly bruises?" he teases, his cocky and flirtatious side coming out. It was more noticeable, this side of him, in high school. But I guess after a couple years, it became a tame side to him and only came out when he wanted it to.

"No," I laugh, rolling my eyes.

"Don't lie," Zander teases. He pulls out of the lot and onto the road.

"I'm not," I respond with a laugh.

"Well, come on! Tell me," Zander says.

I sigh and figure that I've had enough of the embarrassment tonight, and should probably turn it on someone else. "Fine, but you asked. She wanted to know if you're a _God_ in bed," I tease, trying not to laugh. So, I'm exaggerating some. It's for my enjoyment.

Zander chokes and the car skids to a halt in the breakdown lane. The driver behind us, clearly pissed off, flips Zander his middle finger and then speeds off ahead of us.

"What the hell!?" Zander cries in response to what I'd said. His eyes are wide and his cheeks are clearly turning red.

I laugh, "You were always the Ladies Man. I thought that might have been a compliment to you," I tease. I'm shocked by his reaction, but I don't show it. I'm actually more grateful we're not pretzelled around a pole at the moment.

"We're talking about our _best friend_ Kacey here! I mean, she's like my sister!" Zander cries, clearly still shocked. "Is that what girls talk about in private?"

I laugh again. I feel bad about scaring him like this—especially since he _was_ driving. I say, "She didn't really say '_God in bed_' but she did ask how you are in bed. I didn't respond."

He exhales sharply, relieved.

"Now get us home," I order, laughing. "I have a very important test result waiting, Robbins!"

Zander pulls out of the breakdown lane and drives us back to his apartment.

When he get to his apartment, Zander shuts the door behind us and before I can even get a foot towards the bathroom, Zander pushes me against the dark polished wood of the door and kisses me.

"The test can wait," he mumbles against my lips, and I give in. I don't wait for him to ask permission; I open my lips and Zander's tongue darts out to move with mine. It's slow, but nice, and it makes me wish I hadn't wasted seven years without him.

We stay like that for what feels like forever—not that I want it to end, I don't. Zander pulls away though and says quietly, "Do you know what song comes to my mind when I think about you, Steves?"

I bite my lip and shake my head.

He takes my hand and pulls me off the dark wood of his door and leads me into the living room. I glance at the clock—midnight. Zander lets go off my hand and walks to the stereo beneath the television set.

He powers it on and turns the volume knob—I hope his neighbors really like him. A medium-paced guitar strum begins and suddenly I know the song.

Zander takes my hand and leads me in front of the window where the street light is coming is. The orange glow barely lights up the room—just a small square of it—but I can see most of his face, and he can see most of mine.

The bruises on his left side aren't visible in the half of his face that the light can't reach. Zander sings with the song and starts to move us both to the tempo of the song.

_What day is it? And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive_

_I can't keep up and I can't back down_

_I've been losing so much time_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose_

_And it's you and me and all of the people_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

"Zander," I laugh quietly as he moves me to the song. I give in, after a moment, and dance in the small, orange-lit space with Zander.

Zander is such a sucker for cliché moments like this. I can't help but love him so much more for it, because even though it's cliché, it's not ridiculous. In fact, it's the most fun I've had all day. Zander really does try to prove his love.

_All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right_

_I'm tripping on words_

_You got my head spinning_

_I don't know where to go from here_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove_

_And it's you and me and all of the people_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

Zander continues to sing to me over the music, which is somewhat loud—we'll definitely be hearing from one of his neighbors in the morning.

_Something about you now_

_I can't quite figure out_

_Everything she does is beautiful_

_Everything she does is right_

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose_

_And it's you and me and all of the people_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

_And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove_

_And it's you and me and all of the people_

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

_What day is it?_

_And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive_

Zander sings the rest of the song, keeping his eyes locked with mine. He finishes the song like that—his heart evident in his eyes. I know he's truly grateful for this second chance that I'm giving him. I can't help but laugh as the song finishes and another starts up.

Zander's arms are around my waist and he continues to dance with me to the music. "You can be so cliché sometimes, Zander," I say quietly, laughing. I bring my hand up to rub my thumb gently over the bruise on his jaw.

He isn't flinching, so it must not be sore anymore.

"It's true though," Zander responds, "Every minute since you've come back in my life, that's the song I've thought of. And a billion other songs that an describe how I feel about you, spot-on!"

I smile at him. He can be so cute without even trying.

I kiss him on the lips, and it lasts no more than a few seconds at least, but I mean everything I put into it.

I missed Zander, and I'm really glad I decided to give him this second chance.

"Let's go check that test," he says softly after a minute.

I laugh and nod my head, and we both walk to the bathroom where the test is sitting on the counter. My heart is in my throat, I want a baby so badly, and so does Zander. . .

**A/N: And I'm just gonna leave it there :) cruel, I know… anyway, let me know what you thought? Like Zander, I'm a sucker for cliché things… so sorry if that seems to get annoying lol. But a Ladies Man like Zander… things are bound to be cliché at some point, right? All relationships have those moments, and they're cute :) so I was really aiming towards some more fluffy Zevieness this chapter. And some light humor, so hopefully you enjoyed that! **

**Thoughts are greatly appreciated! :) thanks to all the support you guys are giving my story too!**


	12. Chapter 12 - Change of Plans

**A/N: You're all going to hate me once this story ends lol. But yet, you hate and love how I end all my stories and you continue to read my stories xD I love it.**

**Not going to get into the replies today, not many people reviewed haha. Which is fine, I don't beg for reviews :) the feedback is always lovely though!**

**WARNING: this chapter contains some severe language.**

**~Chapter 12~**

**~Change of Plans~**

**STEVIE's POV**

Today's rather chilly, so Zander had shut the bedroom window last night. Zander's sleeping beside me at the moment—it's four in the morning—but I'm wide awake. I don't know when I had started crying, but the agony of another negative pregnancy test got to me finally.

I've been staying with Zander for over a week now, and I know eventually I'll have to go home, but Zander's asked me to move in. . . so not only do I have to explain to Ashton why I'm back with Zander, but I have to tell him that I'm moving out too.

He's going to be through the roof—in a bad way.

I sniffle quietly and then rub my eyes until they're completely dry. I don't want to be trying for another two or three years, I want a baby now. . . Zander's arms around wrapped around my waist, and I carefully pull them off of me so I can get out of bed.

Once I'm free, and Zander's still asleep, I slip into the bathroom and shut the door, but I don't lock it. I know it's too early to really do anything, but I turn the water on for a bath, and wait for the tub to fill up. When it just reaches a good amount, I shut the water off and pull my clothes off.

I slip into the hot water and lean back, shutting my eyes. The hot water calms me down, and I stop crying, and just to clean my face, I splash some water at myself. I sigh softly and just stay in the water as it starts cooling down.

Maybe these last few times were just unsuccessful. . . doesn't mean they'll all be, right? I have faith, still. I'm still upset about not getting pregnant this time, but Zander and I can always try again. There's a knock on the bathroom door, and I jump slightly, startled.

"Steves?" Zander calls through the door.

"What?" I call back, curling up slightly so I'm not so exposed in the water. Sure, Zander's seen my body—many times—but it's instinct, I guess you can say.

"I'm coming in, okay?" he responds, waiting before he opens the door. I don't protest, I just let him in. He's wearing only a pair of flannel pants, and his chest is bare. I stare for a moment, but then I make eye-contact.

That's when he says, "Your eyes look all red and puffy. . . are you okay, baby?" I bite my lip and then look down at my legs through the bath water. I don't know how I feel. It's not really upset, anymore, but it's definitely not happy.

I shrug my shoulders, "I guess I could be better."

Zander sits down beside the tub and looks at me, "Steves, you know I'm not going to give up. This is something that we both want. Don't be upset because it wasn't positive this time."

Somehow, his words anger me and I retort, "You don't know how it feels though! You're not the one that's going to be carrying the baby! I feel so empty, like I've lost something. . . I know you're probably upset too that it was negative, but you can't possibly know how upsetting it is. Not unless you're the one that's going to carry a baby!" To calm myself down, I cover my face with my hands and then sigh.

Zander's hand comes up to gently rub my bare shoulder, and I'm surprised my words didn't upset them—should they have? Maybe. . . he strokes my shoulder and back gently and says softly, "I know, baby. But trust me, I'm not thrilled either. We will have a baby. Someday, maybe now just isn't the time."

I don't answer him for a few minutes. I just lean my head back against the wall of the tub.

"Zander, I have to go see my brother today. . . I need to explain things to him, and let him know I'm moving in with you. . . I don't have a lot, so I'll probably just be bringing over a box," I say to Zander, holding his hand.

"Would you like me to come with you?" he ask.

"I would," I begin, "But honestly, I don't think it's a good idea. . . Ashton has a temper, and the last thing I want him to do is hurt you. . . again," I reply, pointing towards the cupboard under the bathroom sink.

Zander grabs me a towel from there and then wraps it around my body when I step out of the tub. He gently kisses my cheek and says, "Do what you have to do today. I've got some stuff to do anyway, so don't worry about me, alright?"

I nod my head and then go back to our bedroom to get ready for today, even though it's only four-thirty in the morning.

By about ten, I leave the apartment and take my car back to my apartment—well, what's about to become my old apartment. The drive is shorter than I was hoping it would be, I really don't want to talk to Ashton about all this, but I don't have a choice.

And I'd rather not discuss this over Christmas dinner in a few short days. . . that would be embarrassing. Of course, I'll have to explain this to my parents, but I don't want to do it in front of the whole family.

I unlock the front door and Ash is already standing there, "I heard your car in the lot," he says coldly. His arms are crossed and he looks pretty mad. He doesn't intimidate me though. I raise my eyebrows impatiently.

"Well, I came to talk," I reply calmly. I walk towards the kitchen table with Ashton right behind me, and we both sit down across from each other. There's a long moment of silence, and the awkwardness of the situation is thick.

So thick I doubt a knife could leave a mark—let alone slice it.

"Why did you get back together with him?" Ash asks after a moment, trying to keep calm. I know he absolutely hates this—I don't blame him. He's my older brother. . . older brothers are taught to protect their sisters.

"I didn't say we are back together. . ." I say quietly, but then I bite my lip and continue, "But we are. . . I was trying so hard at first not to fall for him again, Ash. . . but—"

"—sex complicates everything," Ash says for me. I nod my head.

"Yeah. I don't know why I agreed to it in the first place, his offer. . . I didn't want anything to do with him, but we both really want a baby. And no one else was going to walk up to me and offer to help. I guess I just took it and ran because, maybe I do trust Zander. I missed him. And it's not like he was abusive, it was just something that happened once. . ."

"That's not the point, Stevie," Ash spits, slamming his fist down on the table. "Point is, he still hit you. That, he can't erase. I'm angry at him, after all these years, because I'm angry with myself. I'm your big brother, Stevie. I'm supposed to protect you and you got hurt anyway," Ash says.

"It isn't you're a fault, Ash. You can't make all my problems disappear. What happened seven years ago is between Zander and me."

"You don't get it, though. I know exactly how Zander feels. . . guilty. He can't ever erase that feeling," Ash replies, looking guilty. I give him a questioning look.

"What do you mean you know 'exactly how Zander feels'?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"You don't know why my wife divorced me. No one does. I just made up some story because I was ashamed of myself, Stevie. We were having an argument one night about something so stupid, and she just kept yelling at me. She wouldn't listen, so I snapped.

"I can't ever tell my kids I hit their mother. They weren't there to witness it, but how do you think they'd react if they had, or if they knew?" Ash asks, putting his face into his hands and staying like that, ashamed.

"You hit your wife? That's why she divorced you?" I ask, completely shocked. This is all new. I thought the divorce had been about money, or just lack of affection, but no. . . it was exactly the problem I found myself in seven years ago.

"So don't think, because Zander's proved himself different so far, that he won't snap back and hit you again. Trust me, Stevie. Things like that happen. The person you least expected _can_ hurt you twice," Ashton tells me, watching me for any sign of worry or doubt of my rekindled love with Zander.

"Well," I begin, masking any doubts I have, "I came here to explain my situation and then pack some of my things. That's it." I get up from the chair and go into my bedroom to grab my clothes and small things I own.

"What do you mean pack?" Ash asks, following me, "You're not moving in with him are you?"

"Yes, actually," I retort, throwing my closet doors open and grabbing the duffle from the bottom. I start packing it with my clothes and objects, but Ash stops me.

"Like hell you are! Did you even listen to me?" he asks, clearly annoyed.

"I did, and I'm sorry, but I. . . I trust Zander," I respond, pushing past Ashton to grab my things. I throw some more clothes into the bag and as Ash watches, he becomes redder and redder with frustration.

"You're an idiot, Stevie! Honestly, I thought you were smarter than this! You can't just run off with some ass that hit you! It doesn't work like that!" Ash screams.

"I'm not running off! And if you remember a few minutes ago, you hit someone too! So Zander isn't the only 'bad guy' here!" I scream back, setting my jaw—I'm angry now. Ash will be lucky if I don't swing any punches.

"Well, you don't see my wife being stupid and running back to me, do you? No! But you go and take your ex-boyfriend's offer _to fuck_, and suddenly you're in love again. Don't you get it? It's not love, he just wants you to think it is! I wouldn't be surprised if he fucked you one more time and then left—"

I swing a punch, angry at his words, and connect with his cheek. He stumbles backwards groaning and splits his lip. I don't feel bad at all. I just want to punch him repeatedly and make him take back what he said, but I know he won't.

Zander's not like what he's describing though. . . at least I don't think he is.

Ash is good with words, and I hate to admit it, but in the last half hour, I've had more doubts than I'm sure Ash meant to give me. I zip up the duffle bag after I know I've got all my things and scream, "I'm leaving!"

Ash stands up and blocks my way to say, "When that jerk leaves you, or hurts you, don't come crying back to me. I won't want to hear it! And I have news for you, Stevie. You're not leaving. I'm _kicking you out_,"

I drop my jaw and reply, "But it's my apartment!"

"It _was_," Ash says coldly. "But you forget, I've been living here for the last few weeks, Stevie. I've been paying the bills while you're out with _him_. So, as of the last few weeks, this place has belonged to me. Now get out!" he yells, moving aside so I can leave.

"Fine," I reply just as coldly. But as I walk towards the front door, I say, "Your idea of Zander is wrong. He's a lot better than you describe him to be. You just hold too much hatred to see that." I slam the door on my way out and when I get to my car, I throw the duffle in the back and fly out of the parking lot as fast as I can.

I'm fuming—my brother is the last person I'm looking forward to seeing in a few days.

I drive back to Zander's apartment—well, our apartment—and I'm pretty much calmed down by this point, but the argument replays in my mind. Everything Ash says. . . how do I know they aren't true? Believe me, I hate doubting my feelings for Zander. . . but Ash is right. People can snap back. But Zander was never abusive, that was just a one-time issue. . .

I don't know what to believe. . .

I walk into the apartment several minutes later and put my duffle bag down on the kitchen table—we can just go through it later. I notice Zander sitting on the couch, and he's holding a piece of paper—he looks like he's frustrated, or like he's ready to cry.

It reminds me of the night I left Zander. He was sitting on the couch, paper in hand, the exact same way. I just hope this time we can avoid the events that came later.

"Hey," I begin softly, concerned, "Are you okay?"

He takes a deep breath and, without looking at me, he says, "No, Steves. . . my dad wrote to me. He says my grandma's in the hospital, and she's pretty sick. . . they don't want me to go to New York and see her because they know it'll just be harder for me. . . when she goes, but Stevie, please. I have to go," he begs, as if he believes I'll say no.

I sit down beside him and say, "Of course you can go. Why would I stop you? Look," I sigh, keeping my eyes on his, "You go to New York, see your grandmother. Do you what you feel you have to. I can just stay here, and—"

"—No, I want you to come with me, Steves," Zander says seriously, watching me. My jaw drops slightly, and I shake my head.

"I can't, Zander. I have to stay here. Who knows how long you'll be gone for? Someone has to stay and watch the apartment, pay the bills. . . you don't want to come back and find you've been thrown out, do you?" I ask, remembering previous events.

He gives me an odd look and says, "Thrown out? What are you talking about?"

I sigh, not wanting to talk about it, but I simply say, "My brother threw me out today."

His eyebrows raise, surprised. "Wait, your brother threw you out of your apartment?"

"According to him, he's been paying the bills—which we usually both pay—so yes, he threw me out and apparently owns my apartment. Doesn't matter anyway, I live here now, right?"

Zander smiles slightly, "Yes, you do. But please come and visit me in New York? If only for a few days?" He's practically begging me and so I give in.

"After Christmas, I'll come see you. We can Skype every night before then," I say with a small smile. He chuckles and agrees. "When are you leaving?"

"Uh. . . in two days," Zander replies. I assume, hearing about his grandmother, he's already got everything ready. He loves her so much, I don't blame him. It's three days away from Christmas Eve, which means Zander won't have to wait for me too long.

"So, would you like help packing?" I ask nonchalantly.

"Nah, that can wait," Zander replies softly. He lifts me up in his arms and kisses me on the mouth. It's soft and sweet, and he mumbles, "What do you say we try one more time before I have to leave?"

I bite my lip to suppress my smile, but it doesn't help at all. I nod my head, and that's when Zander carries me to his room for the next hour or so. . .

The next two days pass in a blur, and Zander's already left for the airport. I didn't go with him, instead I'm at the apartment finishing up wrapping some gifts for the family. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I have dinner with my family Christmas day.

I haven't told my friends yet about living with Zander, or getting back together with him, so I plan to today when we're all out to dinner. It's a tradition we made after we got out of being locked into the mall our senior year. Every day before Christmas Eve, we go out to dinner and exchange gifts—a secret Santa tradition.

Every year, for the last seven years, Zander and I never had to buy for each other. Because everyone knew what had happened. The tradition had been warped somewhat for us. . . and I feel guilty about that. But this year, the tradition is how we had originally held it.

Except Zander won't be here this time. . . I don't even have a gift for him. Nothing seemed perfect, and to find anything "perfect" this close to Christmas would be a miracle.

I had to buy a gift for Grace this year, and honestly, she's not hard to buy for. Thank God. I got her a gold locket—real gold—and inside if a picture of her and Nelson around the time they had started dating. It's her favorite picture, Nelson told me.

I know she'll love it. And Grace hasn't changed much—she still loves shiny things!

We're eating at Grace and Nelson's house tonight, actually, and we've always dressed semi-formal, so I'm wearing a one-shoulder dress, and the sleeve runs to my wrist. The dress is made of white lace, but the fabric underneath is a light cream color. It runs just below mid-thigh.

I pull my hair back so it's somewhat sloppy, but neat too. Some curls hang loose, and the only makeup I have on is mascara and lip gloss—anything else will make me feel all caked-up. Possibly the grossest feeling in the world.

I walk out to my car and get in and take off for Grace and Nelson's house. I'm looking forward to tonight, because it's going to be a lot more fun than it has been in a while, and afterwards I'll get to Skype with Zander. He's three hours ahead of me, but he said he'll be waiting for my call.

So, I'm eager.

Tonight should be a lot of fun!

The drive to their house isn't too long, only about a half hour. Zander's apartment is farther away from Grace and Nelson's house than my apartment—er, my old apartment—is. I pull into the driveway—I assume I'm the only one here so far—and get out of the car and go to knock on the front door.

Nelson answers and he greets me with a hug and a smile, "Hey, Stevie!"

"Hey, Nelson!" I reply, hugging him back. I have missed my friends, and the only thing that I'm missing tonight is Zander. But in a few days, I'll be on a plane to New York to see him. I release Nelson as he lets me go too and then he leads me inside.

"Where's Charity?" I ask, looking around their cozy little home. By now, Charity should be running towards me at full speed with her arms flailing. Nelson shuts the door.

"She's at Grace's mom's house for the night. Grace is actually there now, dropping her off, she'll be home soon. Make yourself at home," he says, grinning like the dork he has always been. The one thing Kevin and Nelson never grew out of is their dorkiness.

"Want something to drink?" he asks, walking into the kitchen.

"I could actually go for Egg Nog," I laugh, sitting down on the stool in front of the island counter in the kitchen.

"Spiked, or non-spiked?" Nelson teases. One thing I like about Nelson is that his jokes are always meant lightly. He's a sweetheart, and although he's teasing me about my first time getting drunk, I laugh and decline the spiked Nog.

I'd rather have regular Egg Nog.

Nelson grabs me a glass and fills it about three-quarters of the way and then hands it to me. I look at him cautiously.

"This better not be spiked, Nelly," I joke.

"You caught me," he laughs, joking. The front door opens and in comes Grace. She's starting to look like she's having twins. She's only about three months along now—was it really October that they'd given us the news?

She looks like she's having more than one baby, honestly. Maybe I can ask her if she knows later. She smiles at me and says, "Hello, Stevie!" She does her usual wave and then comes over to stand by Nelson's side. He wraps his arm around her waist and kisses her cheek.

Part of me absently wonders if maybe someday Zander and I will be like them. Grace and Nelson are so happy together, it's envious. Not a lot of relationships today are as close and as in love as they are. It's admirable, too.

"Merry Christmas, Grace," I smile. Might as well say it early since I won't be seeing them again until probably after New Year's. She responds with a "Merry Christmas" and then grabs some silverware from the kitchen drawers and goes to set the table.

I grab some plates and napkins to help her. Nelson grabs the glasses.

By the time Kevin and Kacey arrive, everything is set up and dinner is just being served. We all sit down and eat and talk and halfway through the conversation, Kacey speaks up.

"So, Stevie," she says, eyeing me.

"Yes?" I ask, taking a sip of Egg Nog from my glass.

Kacey looks around at everyone before her eyes settle on me again, "You have some news for us?"

I laugh slightly and say, "Yes, actually. Zander and I have made up. We're, uh. . . back together—" the whole table breaks out in gasps or squeals, and this time I laugh. "And it's kind of a funny story, actually. . ." I begin. I go into some detail about how Zander and I got back together—I mention Zander's offer, and how difficult it had for me at first, but how I eventually gave in to my rekindled feelings.

The question "Well, are you pregnant?" comes up, unfortunately, and I answer that I don't know yet. I took a test before Zander left, but I haven't looked at it yet. I'm too nervous.

Kacey and Grace were much more interested than Nelson or Kevin, but granted, they are girls. Then it's Grace's turn for news. She rests her hand on her stomach and says, "Nelson and I are having triplets!"

Everyone's mouth drops—even Nelson's. I take it that he had no idea until now. Grace takes his hand and smiles at her husband, who honestly looks like he's about to pass out. I can't tell if he's excited, but I know he is.

"Anything for your lovely Grace," I laugh as he starts to look less pale.

"Merry Christmas, Nelson!" Grace smiles at him. He smiles back, but he and Kevin go out onto the back deck so he can get some air. I don't blame him, triplets is huge news! How Grace kept that news to herself so long, no one will ever know.

Kacey doesn't really have any news, except that she and Kevin plan to take a trip somewhere tropical in a few weeks. They haven't exactly figured out where yet. The only thing that can make tonight better than it has been is having Zander here.

But it's time for the gifts now, and we all sit around the living room on the couches and I notice just how beautifully decorated the house looks. Red, green and gold is the theme apparently. I realize that I haven't set up any decorations at the apartment, but things have been hectic since I've left Zander back into my life.

I'm sure his parents' house will be decorated at least.

"Alright, me first!" Kacey squeals, holding her gift. She hands the neatly wrapped present to Nelson and says, "I got you for Secret Santa."

Nelson grins his dorky grin and tears at the wrapping. Inside is a Furious Pigeons tie—did I mention Furious Pigeons has becomes his and Kevin's obsession once again? Nelson likes the ties though, because he pretends not to know how to fix them, so Grace does it for him.

She knows he can, but she doesn't mind helping.

Next is my turn. I smile and hand Grace my wrapped gift. She claps her hands and says, "Yaaay!" She rips the wrapping paper away and gasps when she sees the gift inside. "Ohemgee!" she cries. I laugh, it's like she never left high school.

She pulls the necklace from the box and asks Nelson to help her put it on.

"Open it up," Nelson smiles. Grace does as he says and then she hugs me. "Thank you, Stevie! I love it! How'd you know that's my favorite picture?"

"Your husband," I laugh.

She kisses Nelson on the cheek and then it's her turn. She gives Kevin his gift—it's a Furious Pigeons tie also, but it's different from Nelson's. Something tells me that Kacey and Grace went shopping together.

Once all the gifts are handed out—I receive Zander's gift to give to him, from Nelson, Kacey stands up and says, "I do have one more gift!"

We all look at her patiently.

"Stevie, I was supposed to have you to get a gift for, but Zander came to me and we switched. So I got Nelson and he got you. So, right before he left for the airport yesterday, he gave me your gift and said not to open it until you're in New York with him."

My jaw drops slightly—Zander convinced Kacey to switch Secret Santa's with him? That's so sweet! Now I just want to open the gift, but I promise I won't open it and then I put it safely to the side.

By about nine o' clock, we all say our goodbyes and I'm the last to leave. "Congrats on the triplets," I say to Grace and Nelson. They thank me and hug me goodbye, and I walk out to my car with Zander's gift. I put it in the passenger's seat and then I start the car up; I pull out onto the road and drive home.

I don't bother changing, I just open up Zander's laptop and get everything set up so I can video chat with him. It doesn't even ring twice before he picks up and when he appears on the screen I smile at him.

"Hey, Zander," I smile, pulling the pins out of my hair. My curls fall back into place and Zander greets me a "Hello, beautiful."

I roll my eyes the comment playfully and say softly, "I miss you already. . ."

"I miss you too, Steves, but after tomorrow you'll be here," he smiles slightly. I can tell he's tired from the plane ride, and I do suggest he just go to sleep, but he brushes it off. He just wants to stay up a little longer and talk.

The only sound, besides his voice, in the room is the quiet hum of the laptop running, and I know he's tired, but after tonight, I think I might be too. The quiet can easily put me to sleep.

"I know you're Jewish," I begin, biting my lip, "But I wish you were here to spend Christmas with. . ." I admit.

He chuckles and says, "I thought you knew me, baby. Of course I celebrate Christmas! Except this year it's in my grandma's hospital room. . ." he looks somewhat amused, and maybe he's just trying not be upset.

His grandmother is older than ninety though, so chances of her living any longer are slim. He knows that, but he has a lot of hope for her. I admire that.

"I forgot, I guess," I respond, laughing.

He smirks at me and then I tell him about how the night went, and how shocked I was that he had asked to trade Secret Santa's with Kacey. He smiles and makes me promise I won't open the gift until I'm with him.

I promise him.

"I know you left just this morning," I tell him, watching as he rubs his eyes. He's tired and I'm starting to feel bad, slightly. I had moved the pregnancy test beside the computer, but it was facing down so I wouldn't be tempted to look, "But I took a test this morning after you left. . . and I'm too scared to look at it. Will you, for me?"

"Sure, baby," he smiles gently.

I hold the test up to the camera and close my eyes—if it's negative, I don't want to see his reaction. I bite my lip and the wait for the answer feels like forever, but then he laughs, and it sounds like he's been winded.

"Merry Christmas, Steves," he laughs, and I open my eyes quickly. What does that mean? I look at him, and he gestures for me to turn the test over. I do and my eyes fall on one word—

"Oh my God," I whisper, placing my hand over my mouth. I glance up at Zander and then back down at the test, "Oh my God!"

_Positive_.

"If I could kiss you right now, Steves, I would," he says happily, watching as the shock still doesn't wear off. I really thought this time wouldn't be any different than the other times, but I guess fate was waiting for a moment like this.

I can feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes—happy tears—and I look at Zander and say, "This is what we've wanted! Can you believe it?"

Zander smiles, "I can't even begin to tell you how that makes me feel," he says. Zander watches me still and finally the shock wears off and tears stream down my cheeks. I'm pregnant—I'm finally getting what I want—what Zander and I _both_ want!

"Baby, I hate to cut this short," he says, smiling slightly, "But I am exhausted. I will call you tomorrow, okay? I love you," he says. His words add to my shock. So that's what those words sound like coming from him.

Even when we were dating, I can't really remember a time Zander had said "I love you" so sincerely.

"I love you too," I respond, putting the test aside. Zander shuts his computer and the call ends. I sit in my chair a little longer, and replay exactly what had happened.

_We're finally having a baby!_

**A/N: Sooo… short, random note: If you really want Egg Nog right now, like I do, put butterscotch ice cream topping in a glass of milk and mix it around xD tastes JUST like egg nog! :) since you can't but it year-round at least this is the easiest way you can make it!**

**BUT OMG THIS CHAPTER WAS LIKE 5,000+ WORDS AND IT WAS PRETTY PACKED, HUH? DO YOU ALL LOVE ME NOW? BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HATE ME IN A FEW CHAPTERS, JUST SAYING :D**


	13. Chapter 13 - A Lie Unravels

**A/N: Alright, so school starts up in a few short days (ew) and I still have summer assignments to finish (-_-) so after I update this, I'm going to get working on those. **

**August 10th I went to see Max Schneider live in Boston :) and I did get to meet him! (if you've seen my twitter, then you already know). He is absolutely sweet and his hugs are amazing! I gave him several sketches of mine and he was absolutely stunned beyond words (made me really happy haha). **

**For those of you that have met him, you understand how much I miss him already and those of you who haven't met him—1. Don't give up hope. I didn't think I'd ever meet him! And 2. You deserve to meet him! He is the sweetest person ever, and although we didn't talk long, it was amazing :)**

**I got to meet Daniel Durston too (his bassist if you don't know), he wasn't supposed to be walking around the music hall, but he was xD and although I couldn't get a picture with him, I did talk to him and get a hug. So Saturday was just a great night!**

**Enough of that, onto the replies: **

_**KingdomKeyblade: **_**Aww! Thank you, that means a lot to me that you look forward to my updates! :)**

_**Misskikimarie**_**: In the words of David Israel… be afraid. I have this story planned out entirely and this plot twist is so obvious that it's not! xD I can promise you all, THERE WON'T BE A MISCARRIAGE. So, cross that off your list! :)**

**Onto the chapter!**

**~Chapter 13~**

**~A Lie Unravels~**

**STEVIE's POV**

I get ready for dinner with my family, and I have my bags packed for the last flight out tonight. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is seeing Ashton there tonight. He's going to try and make tonight a living hell. My parents still don't know what Zander did to me. I couldn't tell them. But Ashton will definitely let it slip tonight.

I can feel it.

I finish my makeup—the same as last night; mascara and lip gloss—and then I make sure my dress looks like nice and then my hair. I smile slightly at my reflection. Despite what may or may not happen tonight, it's going to be good. I grab my two bags filled with some clothes and anything else I'll need for the next week and a half, I lock up the apartment and then go out to the lot where my car is. I throw the bags in the backseat and then get in the driver's side and start the car.

The drive to my parents' house is somewhat long—an hour and a half or even longer. I can't quite remember. It's been years since I've driven from Zander's apartment back to my parents', but I was either lying about being at Kacey's or sneaking back in early in the morning, so my parents never suspected anything.

My brothers caught me a couple times though—blackmailed me every time. It was awful, but it didn't stop me from sneaking out. Zander and I were really in love—I was just too stubborn for the last seven years to talk things out.

I'll never stop kicking myself over that.

When I get to my parents' house, I see that the rest of the family is already there. Part of me is nervous of walking in those doors. Ash's car is already here. . . he hasn't said anything has he? I don't plan on telling my family yet about being pregnant. I need time to explain things.

And Ash will probably be a jerk the whole time I'm trying to explain.

I park the car and take a deep breath to calm myself. I'm making a huge deal out of nothing probably. I lock the car after getting out and then I make sure I look okay—might have to look real pretty in case Ash decides to break the news early. Just to torment me.

Our fall-out was rough. I understand why he threw me out of my—er, his apartment. . . but I think his reaction was a bit too much. I place my hand on the front door handle and turn it.

_Here goes_, I absently think.

As I open the door, I hear everyone is already sitting down to eat.

I got here in time I guess. I shut the door behind me and walk into the kitchen. I see my mother standing by the stove, probably finishing one of the meals—I have a huge family.

"Hey, Mom," I greet, leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. I clasp my fingers together nervously.

She looks back and then smiles, "Stevie! I was wondering when you would be here!" She walks around the island and then hugs me tightly.

I hug back lightly and that's when my mother asks, "Everything alright, darling? You seem a bit on-edge?"

"Er. . .yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I reply, dismissing her concern with a small wave of my hand.

"Alright, well food's served. Everyone's in the dining room. Better hurry before cousin Terry eats it all on you," my mom laughs. I laugh with her.

My cousin Terrance, or Terry, is the skinniest boy you could ever met. He eats like a trucker though. My stomach grumbles loudly and I bite my lip, embarrassed.

"That was loud!" My mom says, looking at my stomach. "It's like you've got a mouth in there." I could swear that she gave me a look, but if she did, she masked it quickly.

I pale slightly—_has Ash already said something?_ But I didn't tell him I'm pregnant. . . so he can't have said anything right?

Maybe he made up some lie. . . I take a deep breath to calm myself down

I nod my head and then walk into the dining room. Everyone greets me at once and quickly gets back to their meals. I grab a seat in front of an empty plate and then quickly put some food onto it and I eat pretty quickly, but hopefully no one notices.

I can feel Ashton watching me, but I don't make eye contact with him—I'm in too good of a mood to let him ruin it.

Multiple conversations take place as dinner progresses and then there's a knock on the door.

"Stevie, would you grab that please?" my mother asks, taking a sip of her drink.

"Sure," I respond, getting up and walking to the door. The family continues to talk amongst themselves—loudly—as I grab the door. I see Ashton's wife as I open the front door and my eyebrows raise slightly.

"Uh, hi," she says softly. She and I haven't spoken much, but we get along. And after hearing Ash's story about hitting her. . . well, I feel like I know her, and how she must feel coming here. "I'm here to drop the kids off so Ash can take them for the night."

"Oh, well hello," I greet, opening the door wider. The kids stand behind her, not saying anything—in fact, they're so well composed I swear they're not the kids Ash would bring over all the time—when I lived in _Ash's_ apartment.

"Amber has a bit of a cold, so if you could just let Ash know—"

"—Er," I begin uneasily, "Ash and I aren't really are speaking terms, but I guess I could let him know." I watch as the kids walk past me and into the dining room and then I turn back to Ash's ex-wife.

"Are you okay? I mean, since you two split up. . . I know it's none of my business, but I think I know how you feel. . . and I'm sorry that it had to happen to you."

She seems a little lost and then replies, "Oh. . . I didn't realize you were divorced."

"I'm not," I say quickly. "I haven't been married. . . I was talking about why you two split up—I know it's none of my business, and Ash probably didn't mean to hit you—"

"—Wait, wait. . . hit me? What are you talking about?" she asks, really confused now.

"What do you mean 'what am I talking about?'" I demand, lowering my voice so the whole dining room won't hear us. "Ash told me the reason you two split up is because he hit you in an argument?"

Her eyebrows knit together, angered now. "Ash never hit me. I know what happened to you, Stevie, but not every guy is like. Ash and I just had our differences. I can't believe you'd accuse your own brother of lying about something that serious."

I find myself speechless. What is she talking about? Was what Ash told me a lie?

I clear my throat and say, "Right. . . sorry, you probably have to go now. . ."

She mumbles something and then takes off to her car. I shut the door and lean back against the wood, thoughts racing through my mind. Ash lied to me? And for what? So I would doubt Zander, and leave him again?

I exhale slowly and then stand up tall—Ash is going to get it now, and I don't even care that family is here. I storm into the dining room and yell, "Ash? Why the hell did you lie to me!?"

"Stevie!" My mother cries, appalled at my language. My father gawks at me, astonished. I'm always a classy girl when it comes to family gatherings, but this time, I've had enough of Ash.

Ash looks around as all eyes focus on him. His kids are sitting in my parents' laps, and so—embarrassed enough—I demand to talk to him outside. We go out onto the back porch and for a minute, I stalk around the porch thinking of where to begin.

"You lied to me, Ash!" I cry, hot tears stinging my eyes—I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed because his ex-wife accused me of lying because of my past; embarrassed because my family is appalled at my sudden behavior; embarrassed because I'll have to tell my family about my ex-boyfriend being the father of my child and that I was kicked out of my own apartment—by my brother!

"About?" he says, raising an eyebrow.

I sigh angrily, "You never hit your ex-wife, Ash! She told me when I tried to talk to her about it!"

"Well, that wasn't any of your business, now was it?"

"I was trying to tell her I knew how she felt, but she told me that I shouldn't think all guys are the same and it's horrible that I would think you'd do the same thing Zander did! You tricked me, and I made a fool of myself, Ash. A lot of times tonight, and I haven't even been here a half hour, so are you happy now?"

"I just don't want you to come crying back when Zander hits you—"

"—Ash, you moron! Zander's not going to hit me again! Alright, and if he does, I sure as hell won't come crying to _you_. You're an insensitive jerk, and you lied to me!"

"I don't want you going back to that jerk, Stevie. When you snuck home the next night, I remember you coming to me. . . because I was the only one that wouldn't run off to tell mom and dad about what he did to you—even though I wanted to. I don't like him, Stevie. He hurt you. . . I'm your big brother, and I was supposed to protect you."

I sigh, annoyed, "Didn't we discuss this already? You can't be around to save me 24/7, Ash! But I know Zander, okay? He's not going to hit me again. . . and I can't pull away from him now. . ."

"Yes, you can, Stevie. I know you don't want to, but. . . you have to get away from him—"

"—no, Ash! I really can't!" I scream angrily.

"_Why not_?" he screams back.

"_I'm pregnant, okay?_" I hiss, crossing my arms over my chest. I huff, annoyed. "I'm pregnant, Zander's the father—this is what we wanted. I want Zander in my life, Ash. . ."

He stands before me, completely frozen. His jaw is somewhat slack, but he shuts it quickly. He laughs a bit and it sounds bitter, "Unbelievable—un-_fucking_-believable," he spits, running his fingers through his hair.

"You're making a huge mistake, Stevie, and I hope you realize that hard away—because apparently you didn't seven years ago," he says harshly, stalking off into the house. He slams the sliding glass door and the hot tears in the corners of my eyes trail down my face.

I wipe at them furiously and go back into the house. Upon entering the dining room, everyone's gone silent, but their eyes are on me.

"Ash left," my mother says quietly, watching me. I can't read her expression—everyone looks like they're made of stone.

"Way to go, Stevie," my youngest brother, Caleb says. "Everything was going fine until you two left to argue. Why can't you two ever get along anymore? Christmas is a time for family, and you two are too selfish to put aside whatever it is you have going on!"

"I'm sorry, I just—"

"—Doesn't even matter," Caleb spits, looking away from me. My family doesn't look at me, they keep their attention elsewhere.

"Fine, I'll just show myself out. I'm going to New York tonight. . . my boyfriend's there. You know, when I got here, I thought I could enjoy myself and see everyone again. . . give you all the good news. None of this is my fault. . . if Ash hadn't lied in the first place, we could have avoided all this."

I feel a surge of adrenaline run through me suddenly, and I may as well make an exit rather than regret it later.

"I'm sorry that I've ruined a lot of things lately," I begin, more tears falling down my cheeks. I'm embarrassed about this whole night. "Oh yeah, the good news? Well, maybe it won't be good news to any of you. . . I'm having a baby, alright?"

I shrug my shoulders, and I'm angry now. Angry that suddenly everyone is pinning everything wrong on me. I'm angry that, just because of what happened seven years ago, suddenly everyone knows what I'm always thinking about.

Well, I've pushed aside that incident. I don't want to dwell on it anymore.

"Mom? Dad? Remember how much you loved my ex-boyfriend Zander? Yeah well, I never told you why we broke up, did I? Seven years ago, we got into an argument. . . and he hit me. Right across the face—" I'm crying now, but I'm ranting because I'm sick of everyone stepping on me these last few weeks.

"—and he's the father of this baby," I continue, gesturing to my stomach. Mouths have gone slack, but I'm not ready to stop yet. I wipe my eyes and continue, "He's the one I'm going to New York for. I don't care what he did to me. . . I'm sick of people saying he'll just do it again—he won't! I know Zander, and. . . I'm still in love with him.

"I'm done being stepped on—that's all that's happened to me lately, and I just need someone right now that isn't going to hurt me anymore. So, Merry Christmas, everyone. You've all made me feel terrible, and I bet you didn't expect it back. . ."

Before I can get any harsher, I storm out the front door, slamming it behind me. When I get to my car, I sit in the driver's seat for a minute and rest my forehead against the steering wheel. I'm shaking and all I want to do is cry—tonight was awful, and honestly, I'd expected it to be perfect.

I love my family, but they turned against me so easily tonight. . . I just snapped.

I look at my bags in the backseat and figure it's time to leave before I miss my plane. I just need Zander right now. . . _just several hours and you'll see him_, I think to myself encouragingly.

**A/N: Alright, so that's that chapter! I've been a little annoyed today (my grandma keeps yelling at me and getting annoyed) so I've sort of put that into writing, but Stevie has a lot more problems than I do xD so yeah. . . that's that. Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates lately! I'll try to get back into a rhythm soon! Leave your thoughts and comments please :)**


	14. Chapter 14 - Vulnerable

**A/N: Still procrastinating on my summer work… oops. Anyway, here's the next chapter! Hopefully you enjoy this one too! I won't get into replies this time because the story is going to start getting really twist-y, turn-y—my specialty *evilly smiling***

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**~Chapter 14~**

**~Vulnerable~**

**STEVIE's POV**

Zander's mother is driving me back to their home in New York City, and on the way there, his mother and I talk. Just small conversation. This is the first time I'm meeting her—when Zander and I were dating years ago, he'd lived on his own and his parents were never in California.

I'm exhausted from the plane ride—though skipping hours ahead quickly probably means I should be wide awake. Zander's mother is nice, and what she says next catches me off-guard.

"You have no idea how he talks about you," she says softly, smiling a bit. "I know what happened when you two were younger. . . and the fact that you forgive him, that really means a lot to him, Stevie. You know that, don't you?"

I hesitate to answer—do I really forgive him? I'm still a bit hazy on that—but then I say, "I just realized I couldn't stay away. . . I missed him a lot."

She smiles over at me, and the rest of the drive to her house is less awkward.

It's very early in the morning, so when we get back to the house, Zander's asleep in his old bedroom. He's lying on his stomach with his arms crossed underneath his head. His hair is all over the place, and I think it's sort of cute.

Zander's mother is aware of our situation—she mentioned it in the car, and somehow avoided making it awkward—but she had me in a separate room, and I don't blame her. I'm a guest, and it just would be weird—and rude—to. . . "do the deed" in her home. . . also known as Zander's childhood home.

I climb into the bed in the guest room and I'm out in a matter of seconds it seems.

The next morning though, I wake up in Zander's arms. He's fast asleep behind me, but his arms are wrapped around my waist. I turn slightly to look at him—he must've woken early and saw I'd arrived. I smile at the thought and the door opens.

I see Zander's mother standing in the doorway and she looks quite amused.

"I went to go wake him up and found him gone. I suspected he was in here," she whispers, laughing. She shakes her head and then says, "Wake him up, darling? I'm going to go start breakfast."

I nod my head and as she leaves, I gently nudge Zander's arms.

"Wake up," I laugh, continuing to nudge him. He groans and then his eyelids flutter open. "Zander, you're lucky your mother didn't scold us! How did you even sneak in here?"

He chuckles, half-away, and I find it's the sexiest thing I've ever head. I smile a bit.

"It wasn't hard actually. And why would she scold us? It's not like she doesn't know what's going on," he teases, kissing my cheek. His lips trail down my jaw, and suddenly I'm aware of a very eager part of his body. I swiftly kick my foot back, connecting with his knee.

He laughs.

"Zander, your mother could come back any minute! We're not doing _that!_"

"God, Steviekinz, I didn't realize you were so afraid of getting caught," Zander teases, kissing my jaw lightly. His arms trail lower down my waist and he pulls my body closer to him. "Besides, she's making breakfast which means we've got about twenty minutes."

"Zander," I whine, blushing. I can't imagine his mother walking in on us having sex! That's probably every person's nightmare—and a good way to kill the mood. "I'm not—I'm a guest in your mother's house, that's not fair!"

"Steves, come on, don't you wanna have a little fun?" Zander teases, kissing down my neck. He gently sucks on the pressure point there and my eyes shut closed on their own accord—he found my weak spot. I bite my lip and tilt my head back a little more so he can continue that amazing feeling.

He smirks against my skin and then he flips us over so I'm straddling his waist. My hands are on the pillow on either side of his head, holding me up and his hands are gently stroking my waist. Our lips move with each other's and I moan softly as the kiss grows more heated.

Zander's hands trail up my sides and then to brush my hair out of my face as he moves his tongue with mine, almost like a battle for dominance—he wins. I slowly grind my hips against his, and even in clothes, this feels amazing. He smiles against my lips and just as his fingers reach the front of my shirt, someone clears their throat.

We fly apart in a matter of seconds and see Zander's mother in the doorway. Her eyebrows are raised, almost to her hairline—her arms are crossed and there's a small quirk to her lips, almost like she's amused.

"Breakfast is ready," she says simply, waiting for us to move. I'm the first one out of bed, and Zander's right behind me, running his hands through his hair. As I walk past his mother out to the kitchen, I bite my lower lip and try not to laugh—oddly, I'm okay with having been caught.

I would've felt guilty later on if we'd gotten any farther. I hear his mother call behind the pair of us, "Don't think I didn't know what you two were doing _before_ I came in there. That's the only reason I made a quick breakfast today. Zander George Robbins you will not fornicate under my roof!"

Zander chokes, embarrassed and groans, "Mom, no one says 'fornicate' anymore—and besides, we weren't going to get very far!"

His mother, although she isn't angry, gives him a stern look, "It doesn't matter. I know you Zander, you're my son, and you've always been sneaky, but this time I knew your plans—wasn't expecting that now, huh?"

"Alright, alright," Zander says, throwing his arms up in surrender.

Zander, his mother and I sit through breakfast, and it's quite awkward, but Zander's mother doesn't seem to notice this—she talks about several different things, like the news, current events. Zander finally speaks up, asking when we'll go see his grandmother.

"We can go once the two of you are ready," his mother answers. She doesn't even have to tell us she wants us changing in separate rooms—after this morning, it's very evident we won't be getting much alone time while I'm here.

Zander and I walk down the hallway, and just before I walk away, Zander gently kisses my cheek and then walks the rest of the way to his room to get ready. I go into my room—well, the guest room—and fumble around in my bag of clothes for something to wear.

It's December in New York, so once I've got my clothes on, I pull my coat on and zip it up. It's a red trench coat that goes just above my knees. My boots go just below my knees—for a girl who's never seen snow with her own eyes before, or felt the cold of New York, I'm pretty prepared I would say. I shove my hands into my pockets and walk out into the kitchen where Zander's mother is ready.

Zander joins us a minute or two later and we all walk out to the car and get in—Zander in the passenger's seat beside his mother and me in the backseat. Zander's mother cranks the heat up in the car and we spend about forty-five minutes driving to the hospital.

"Do you think she's doing better today?" Zander asks his mother, opening my door for me once we're at the hospital. When I step out, I carefully avoid the ice and then wrap my arm around Zander's. We follow his mother into the hospital and she doesn't come into the room with us—it's just Zander, his grandmother and myself.

"Zander, my boy!" his grandmother cries, smiling. Though she's got a bunch of fluids and tubes in her arms, she slowly reaches her arms out—they look so fragile—and Zander quickly walks into them, hugging her.

"How are you feeling?" he asks her after pulling away. I sit quietly in the chair by the bed, just watching how they interact. They seem very close, and I vaguely remember Zander telling me how, growing up, he was constantly going back and forth to see his parents, and it makes me wonder how much time he and his grandmother spent together through all of that.

"No better than yesterday, but look," his grandmother says hoarsely, "I'm still smiling!" She cracks a smile, and the corners of my lips twitch into one for a split second. She's very optimistic, and it's admirable really. Zander smiles back at his grandmother and then looks over at me.

"I brought my girlfriend with me. You haven't met her before, but I think you'll like her," he says, turning his grandmother's attention over to me. I blush slightly, suddenly the center of attention, and greet his grandmother with a gentle, "Hello, my name's Stevie."

She smiles at me and says, "Zander's always had a soft spot for a pretty girl with a kind heart."

His cheeks turn a light shade of pink, and he laughs.

His grandmother says, "You're the girl Zander wouldn't shut up about years ago, aren't you?"

I look at Zander, amused and then reply, "I guess so."

"I'm going to go see if the nurses have anything for you to eat, are you hungry?" Zander asks his grandmother, clearly wanting to be anywhere but here at the moment. Being the center of the conversation seems to be Zander's weakness.

"Oh, that'd be nice," his grandmother says, patting his hand lightly.

Zander gives a quick nod and flees the room. His grandmother laughs hoarsely and says, "He's always loved attention, but when it comes to compliments from his family, he always finds an excuse to run."

I laugh and nod, "Yeah, he's like that I've noticed."

She looks serious now though and she says softly, "Thank you for giving my grandson another chance. I could see it in his eyes years ago, and I see it now; he's crazy about you. And you may not know it yet, but this second chance means a lot to him."

I'm speechless for a moment, Zander had told his grandmother what he did to me seven years ago? At least he's not a coward, and I know that for a fact now. "I tried not to honestly, at first," I blurt, biting my lip. "But after a while, I found that I couldn't stay away anymore. . . I missed him like crazy."

She smiles at me.

"He never meant to do it, you know," she says softly, scratching her jaw lightly. "But you've forgiven him, so you must know that. I know there is no excuse for what he did—he knows that—but he's so in love with you. . . this second chance means more than life itself to him. Thank you for making my grandson happy again."

"I don't know what to say," I stutter, unable to wrap my mind around all this.

Sure, I know how happy Zander is, but I hadn't any idea how much my forgiveness meant to him until now.

"You don't have to say anything," his grandmother say, laughing softly. "I just want you to know. . . because we both know that Zander won't tell you."

"That's true," I laugh in response, "It's not very often guys can easily express their feelings."

"I need to know something though," she says, "Promise you'll be honest?"

"I. . . of course, what is it?" I say quickly, cocking my head slightly, expectantly.

"Do you think I'll make it out of this?" she says in a raspy tone, like she's holding back a fit of coughs. She places her hand over her chest and waits for my reply.

I hesitate, and then sigh, defeated, "Honestly. . . I don't. But for Zander's sake, I'm praying."

She gives me a small smile and takes my hand, "Then you're right. We both know I'm not going to make it out of this. My time has come, dear. Zander doesn't want to believe it, but it has. Just promise me that when I go, you'll do what you can to keep him happy."

I nod my head quickly as hot tears prick my eyes, "Of course. I'll do my best."

"Would you mind going to find Zander? This hospital's much too big and the nurses have others to attend to," she asks gently, releasing my hand. I nod my head and stand up from my chair.

"I'll be back shortly," I tell her, "Try to hang in there, alright?"

She nods and I leave the room to go find Zander.

It's not long before I do find him, he's sitting in the waiting room with two cups of coffee. I walk over and sit beside him and without saying anything, he hands me the cup that's still full.

"Thanks," I respond, quickly taking a sip.

"No problem," he says with a small smile. "The nurses say they'll get her some food in a couple minutes, but they have another patient that needs attending to," Zander explains, tossing his half-full cup of coffee into the trash bin beside his chair.

"Zander—" I begin, but I'm quickly cut off when four or five nurses rush past the waiting room and down the hallway. They have a gurney and Zander flies out of his seat and runs after them.

"Dammit," I mutter, tossing my cup into the trash and running after him. The nurses are already in his grandmother's hospital room, and one of the nurses is standing in front of the door, blocking the window. Zander's trying to tell her that he needs to see her, but the nurse apologizes and says he has to keep calm.

He turns back to me and says, "She was fine when you left her, wasn't she?"

I bite my lip and then shake my head slowly, "Zander. . . she even told me she knew she wasn't going to—"

"—why didn't you stay with her?" he cries, frustrated.

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out—should I have stayed with her? She asked me to go find Zander. . . but should I have stayed? It wouldn't have made any difference, would it have?

"Zander, I'm sorry, I didn't know she was going to—staying with her wouldn't have—" I'm stuttering now, and tears are streaming down my face. I don't know what to say to him, anything I try to say will just upset him more.

"I didn't even get to tell her I love her," he mumbles, squeezing his eyes shut. He slides his back down the wall and rests his face in his hands. His body shakes slightly and I can't tell if he's crying or fighting tears, but either way my heart's shattered—the usually happy and out-going boy I've known for years is now a sobbing wreck on the floor.

I kneel beside him and hug him gently, "Zander. . . I don't know what to say. . . the truth hurts, I know. . . it was evident she wasn't going to hold out much longer—she knew you loved her. She knew that very much, and she loves you more than you can imagine, you have to believe me."

He doesn't say anything—he doesn't even look up as the nurses pull her out of the room on the gurney, covered in a thing blue cloth, and take her to the morgue, several floors down. I keep my arms around Zander as he continues to shake.

I know he's crying now, and that's when I say, "Did you get to spend Christmas with her, Zander?"

He doesn't answer for a long moment, but finally he lifts his head out of his hands and swallows thickly. His eyes are puffy and red, and he sniffles. He nods his head and his dark brown eyes lock with my hazel ones.

He looks like he's in so much pain, emotionally, and I hug him tighter, "Be thankful for that. Because you got to spend the most cheerful time of the year with her, and didn't it feel nice seeing her, and talking to her? Didn't it feel comforting like those years your parents were driving you crazy having you go back and forth? Think of all those good times you spent with her. Those are the thoughts that'll last the longest. Your grandma was there for you when you needed her most. . . and she told me, right before she asked me to come find you, that I have to do what she did, and be there for you. I'm going to be beside you, okay?"

"I love you so much," he says softly, placing my hand over his cheek.

"I love you too, Zander," I reply quietly, rubbing my thumb over the tear track on his cheek, drying it. "Do you need some more time, or would you like to go home?"

"Can we go home?" he asks quietly, sighing.

I nod my head and help him up off the floor. We go find his mother and explain the situation—it's hits her quite hard, and she I offer to drive with the help of Zander giving me directions. The drive back to Zander's mother's house seems actually quite short, and when we get to the house, Zander's mother slowly makes her way to her room to lie down.

Zander brings me to his old room, and as I shut the door, I find my back pressed against it with Zander pressed against my front. His lips are on mine, and I gasp surprised. His hands are on my waist, and he deepens the kiss quickly.

He moves his lips to that pressure point on my neck, and despite my attempts to resist, I moan. But I snap out of it quickly and say, "Zander, you have to stop!" His thumbs draw lazy circles on the exposed skin of my waist and his continues to kiss my neck, ignoring me.

"Zander, stop!" I say again, a little more sternly. "Stop!"

He pulls away and rests his forehead on mine, and he keeps his eyes locked with mine. "Why? Stevie, please just let me have this. . . I don't want to feel pain right now. . ." he says softly, frowning.

I cup his face gently with my hands and sigh, "I can't let you do this right now. . . I'll just feel guilty later, and you'll be angry. You're very hurt right now, I know that. . . if I let you do this Zander, I'll just be taking advantage of your vulnerability. . ."

"No you won't, I want this. . ." he argues, pleading with his eyes.

"You say that now, but when you're feeling a little better later, you'll know what I mean," I say softly, kissing his cheek. I give him a small smile and then slip out of his arms and pull him to the bed by his wrist.

I gently push him down on the mattress and then pull his shoes off, kicking mine off afterwards. I lay down beside him and he wraps his arm around my waist. I feel like we're some sort of puzzle, and I match perfectly with him. I fit so nicely in his side and he fits nicely in mine.

He sighs and says, "I miss her so much and it hasn't even been an hour yet."

"I know," I respond, looking up at him. "If you need to let it out, Zander, just go ahead. Nobody is going to judge you—I won't."

He nods and kisses my forehead, and the rise and fall of our chests leaves me drifting off to sleep. Zander's already asleep beside me.

**A/N: Alright, so that was NOT the plot twist—I'm pretty sure you all saw this coming. The plot twist isn't for a little while, so I won't say exactly when… just enjoy sitting on the edge of your seat until it does happen :) *evil laughter***

**Anyway! Thoughts greatly appreciated!**


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